Headmaster Snape and the Percy Jackson Books
by WitchSorceress49
Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 1: The Summons

The room that Headmaster Snape chose was one of many rooms that the Castle told him about upon becoming Headmaster. The room was covered in runes and magical writing from Greece, Rome, Egypt, and the Nordic countries. It was truly a magical place. He could feel the hum of the castle as he walked around this room. Yes, this would be perfect for what he intended to do.

What needed to be done!

He chanted the words and the room was filled with a brilliant light. A few moments later a dozen, or more, bodies landed on the floor. The room took away their wands and locked away their magic. There would be no violence in this room.

"Bloody hell, I was having a nice dream," the voice of Ron Weasley said.

"Ron, is that you?" Harry Potter's voice said.

"Yeah, mate."

Soon other voices were asking if anyone else was okay and then they all saw him. The Order went for their wands and Narcissa and Lucius got between them and him. That's when they noticed they didn't have their wands.

"We don't have-."

"Then I'll kill him with my own hands," Harry said.

However he couldn't move. The Founders has thought of everything.

"What is this room?" Remus asked.

"This was one of the many original rooms that the Founders created," Severus told him. "Even I'm not sure of its full function. However, it does have the ability to bring people that it feels will help the castle out. And only the rightful Headmaster can use it."

"Which was Dumbledore."

"Harry, if Snape is telling the truth then he's the rightful Headmaster."

"He's not, McGonagall is."

"But I doubt she could have found this room."

"That would be correct," McGonagall said, "This room is hidden from me."

"Then why are we here?" Draco asked.

"To read some books," Severus answered.

That wasn't the answer that Draco was looking for.

"Read bloody books," Ron said, "Okay, Hermione, have fun."

"To leave this room you must read the books that detail a boy name Percy Jackson. Trust me when I say that you won't be able to ever leave if you don't. Food and drink will be provided as well as sleeping arguments."

"We have a business."

"I have a job."

"Time will stop for everyone inside this room. Don't worry, you won't lose anything by reading them."

"I bet he's a Death Eater," Harry remarked.

"Oh I think you'll like him," Severus said.

"Yeah, he's a Death Eater."

"Is he a real person?" Hermione asked him.

"Yes, he is," Severus answered.

Severus waved his hand and the first book appeared. He walked over and handed it to Mrs. Weasley.

"Ladies first," he said and he saw her glaring at him.

"We're only doing this to get out of the room," she told him and then looked down at the book. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians; the Lightning Thief."

"How can you steal lightning?" Harry asked.

"Don't look at me, dear, it's just the title of the book."

"The Olympians are Greek and Roman," Hermione said. "Strange."

She opened the book and read, "I accidentally vaporize my pre-algebra teacher."

"Strange book, strange title," Remus said.

"Now let's begin," Severus said and Mrs. Weasley began.

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A/N: Sorry about ending the chapter there. The next one will cover the first chapter of the first book. I'm also doing this using the Kindle edition of the first book and will post about twice a week. Promise. Also would like to note that after two chapters from the book there will be a small chapter where Harry and the others talk about things and, of course, they will all be wondering what Snape is up to.


	2. I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra T

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

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To jazmincita716: Thanks for your review.

To Alejandra459: Thanks for your review.

To BlackStar103: The first chapter is intended to be short. The following chapters will be way longer.

To the Guest: Even though your review doesn't appear I'll answer your question. The reason that Snape knows about Percy, and why he wants the Order, Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, and the Malfoy's to read the books, will be revealed at the end of the story. Note: This will be one long, long, story.

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Chapter 2: I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher

 **Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood**.

"What kind of opening is that?" Ron asked.

"It's a statement, moron," Draco said.

 **If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try and lead a normal life**."

"Parent's don't lie about this stuff," Kingsley said.

"Oh you be surprised what parents will lie about," Severus told him.

 **Being a half-blood is dangerous.**

"How is being a blood half-blood so dangerous?" Ron asked. "It's not as though you can get killed for it."

 **It's scary**.

"Doesn't make a bit of sense," Ron said.

"I'm sure that we'll all find out," Mrs. Weasley told him.

" **Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways**.

"Does this Jackson boy have to be so full of drama?" Remus said.

 **If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think its fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

"Yeah, he's full of drama," Remus confirmed.

 **But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately.** "

"The only thing that Ron feels stirring inside him is the need for food," Hermione said and Fred and George laughed.

"Hay, I'm a growing boy."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

 **You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before** _they_ **sense it too, and they'll come for you.** "

"What does that even mean?" Harry asked.

"Hay, we're talking about a book that Snape chose. Anything is possible."

Draco glared at him.

 **Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"Yeah, okay," Ron said.

 **My name is Percy Jackson.**

"Finally we have a name for the drama king," Remus said.

 **I'm twelve years old.**

"Why is his age so important?" Kingsley asked.

 **Until a few months ago, was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York**."

"So he's an American," Hermione said.

"Correct, Miss Granger," Lucius said, "They even have their own government there as well."

"I so need to go there," Hermione said.

 **Am I a troubled kid? You could say that.**

"He's trouble isn't close to what Harry went through at twelve," Ron said.

"I think, when your done with this book you won't be saying that," Severus told him.

Ron glared at him, but said nothing.

 **I could start at any point in my short, miserable, life to prove it. But things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan**."

"Must be a part of New York," Draco said.

 **Twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus-**."

"What's a school bus?" Draco asked.

"It's used to transport muggle children from home to school. I took one when I was a kid."

"Yeah, because your dad was a muggle," Harry said.

"I don't talk about him," Severus said.

"Harry, don't egg him on," Hermione warned.

Harry glared, but said nothing.

 **Heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff**.

"I feel for you, Perc," Fred said.

"A museum isn't that bad," Harry said. "At least it beats a detention with Umbridge."

"Which you should of told Professor McGonagall about."

"For the first time, I agree with Severus," McGonagall said.

"What did she do?" Narcissa asked.

"Oh just sliced Potter's hand open with a blood quill," Severus told her.

Draco went green.

"That's just really gross," Lucius said.

 **I know-it sounds like torture.**

"Sounds like torture to me," Ron said, "Going to some place to see a bunch of old things."

Harry and Hermione both rolled their eyes.

 **Most Yancy field trips were. But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hope.**

"What makes this Mr. Brunner so interesting?"

"Oh you'll find out," Severus told Remus.

 **Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheel chair**.

"What the heck is that?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"It allows disabled people to get around without having to use their hands," Severus told her. "I've seen a couple of them around."

 **He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class**."

"Remember when Flitwick allowed us to play games."

"Which I was bad at," Harry said.

"Snape wouldn't."

"Because class is a time to teach, not to play games."

"Well, at least I'm fun."

Severus rolled his eyes at that. He knew about the kind of 'fun' things that Flitwick like to do that wasn't suitable for children to know.

 **He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"Unlike Binns classes," Tonks remarked.

 **I hope the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get into trouble. Boy, was I wrong.**

"Back to the drama," Remus said. "What the heck can happen on a field trip that would make him think this?"

"You'll find out."

 **See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway**."

"They allowed children near one of those things," Hermione said, clearing upset.

"American's are way too strange."

 **And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**

"How is that even possible?" Harry asked.

 **And the time before that…Well, you get the idea.**

"Yeah, we the idea. Your trouble when you're around others," Harry remarked.

"Like you're not," Fred remarked.

 **This trip, I was determined to be good.**

Everyone, including Severus, snorted at that.

 **All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

"What is a klepto-whatever?"

"Kleptomaniac," Hermione said. "Someone that has the overwhelming urge to steal. They have to be treated for it, as it's a problem.

 **Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin.**

"Sounds a bit like Neville."

"I don't cry when I get frustrated."

"You moan, Neville, you moan."

"Oh, thanks for reminding me, wizard that doesn't like to do any kind of homework," Neville shot back at Ron.

"That's enough, both of you," Tonks said.

Severus saw both Gryffindor boys glaring at each other.

 **On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease of the legs.**

"Poor boy," Mrs. Weasley said. "Though there are potions for that."

 **He walks funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"What's a café-?"

"It's a place that students eat at," Hermione cut in. "And enchilada is a kind of food, from Mexico."

 **Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck to his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation.**

"I would have punched her," Ron said.

 **The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"How is that even an actual threat?" Ginny asked, looking at Harry for some answer.

"Don't look at me, I don't know," Harry said.

 **Grover tried to calm me down.**

" **It's okay. I like peanut butter**."

Everyone laughed, though Kingsley said, "Sounds a bit like Harry."

"I'm nothing like this Percy person."

Severus snorted at that.

 **He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

" **That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.** "

"Yeah, he acts just like Potter," Severus remarked.

Harry gave him a look that told him that if had his wand he would of hexed Snape three ways to Monday. Severus wasn't fazed.

" **You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens.** "

"Sounds like this Grover boy keeps Percy grounded."

"Like Hermione does," Ginny stated and Severus agreed.

 **Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

"What's about to happen?" Ginny asked.

"Oh you'll find out," Severus said.

 **Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.**

 **He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

"Yeah, we're all lucky," Hermione remarked.

 **He gathered us around a thirteen-foot tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a** _stele_ **, for a girl about our age.**

"Muggles know what a sphinx is," Ron said, shocked.

"Ron, there are tons of creatures that, a long time ago, muggles believed in. Of course we wizards are the only ones that can see them."

"And a stele?"

"I think the book told us what a stele is," Remus said.

 **He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everyone around me was talking.**

"Rude," Luna said.

 **And every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

"Reminds me of Snape."

"I'm not _that_ bad," Severus defended.

Harry and Neville both snorted.

 **Mrs. Dodds was the little math teacher from Georgia-.**

"What's Math and Georgia?" Ron asked.

"Math is a subject taught in muggle schools, which would have helped you out in Potions, and Georgia is a state in America," Severus explained.

 **Who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker.**

"What's a Harl-?"

"It's a motorcycle," Hermione said, "My father owns one and so do I, even though I haven't yet gotten my license.

"What's a locker?"

"A place that you store things when you're not using it. Muggle schools have them."

"Oh I need to see one of those things."

"Maybe later, Mr. Weasley."

 **She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

"The kinds of kids that are around her, don't blame the poor dear."

"Wish I could have a nervous breakdown," Severus said.

 **From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil's spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get afterschool detention for a month.**

"Sounds like Umbridge to a tee," Harry said.

 **One time, after she made me erase answers out of an old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**

"Why do I get a feeling that Mrs. Dodds is really bad news," Ginny said.

"Yeah, she sounds worse than Snape."

 **Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

 **Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"**

Everyone in the room winced, including Mrs. Weasley as she read it.

"Oh I feel so bad for Percy."

 **It came out louder than I meant it to.**

 **The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

"He's so busted," Harry said.

" **Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

 **My face went totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

"Yeah, he's totally busted," Harry remarked.

 **Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

 **I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?** "

"Totally gross."

"Why would he do that?"

"I think that Percy will answer that for you," Severus told them.

" **Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because…"**

" **Well…." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god and."**

" **God?" MR. Brunner asked.**

" **Titan," I corrected myself. "And…he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dead, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters."**

"I think I'm going to get sick," Tonks said.

"That's beyond nasty," Neville said.

"Well that's what the myths say happened," Hermione said.

" **Eeew!" said one of the girl's behind me.**

" **And so there was this big fight between the gods and Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

 **Some snickers from the group.**

"He answered the question," Hermione said, sounding outraged.

 **Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job application, "Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

" **And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobfit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

" **Busted," Grover muttered.**

Everyone laughed at what Mrs. Weasley read.

"He's got an excellent hearing," Lucius remarked.

" **Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

"Sounds like she beats Weasley boy here," Draco said.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron snarled.

"Make me," Draco countered.

"Enough, once again, from both of you," Narcissa said.

 **At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"So does Remus," Hermione said.

"What does packed mean?"

"It's slang, I think," Hermione told him, "I've never been to the States, so I don't know."

"It's slang, Mr. Weasley," Severus said.

 **I thought about his question, and shrugged, "I don't know, sir."**

" **I see," Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him into pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tarterus, the darkest part of the Underworld."**

"I really am going to throw up," Tonks said, going green.

"Tonks, it's just a myth," Remus said, though he did look a bit pale.

" **On that happy note,-**."

"On that happy note," Lucius said, "How is that a happy note?"

"I think Mr. Brunner is just strange," Neville said.

"I think he's smart," Luna remarked.

" **It's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?** "

"I don't think that I could eat?"

Everyone snorted at Ron's statement.

 **The class drifted off, the girl's holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses. Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

 **I knew this was coming.**

 **I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned towards Mr. Brunner. "Sir"**

 **Mr. Brunner had this look of wouldn't let you go-intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Sounds like Dumbledore," Hermione said, and Severus saw Harry glaring at him at the mention of the man that he had been forced to kill.

" **You must learn to answer my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

" **About the Titans?"**

" **About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

" **Oh."**

" **What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

 **I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me too hard.**

"Moody would love him," Ginny remarked.

 **I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted, "What ho!" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped.**

"They worshipped these gods," Ron said, shocked.

"Yes, Ron, they did," Harry said, "Before the Greeks and Romans became Christian they worshipped a verity of different gods and goddess."

"Ah, the good old days," Severus said.

"It's official," Ron said, "Not only is Snape a murderer but he's freaking mental."

Severus glared at him on that.

 **But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everyone else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be** _as good;_ **he expected me to be** _better_ **. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correct.**

"What is whatever he has?" Ron asked.

"Dyslexia means that someone has a hard time reading," Harry said, "Attention deficit disorder means that you have a hard time paying attention."

"Poor kid," Mr. Weasley said.

 **I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral. He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

 **The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

"And before you ask, Ron, it's the name of a street."

"I knew that," Ron said.

 **Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York State had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

 **Nobody else seemed to notice.**

"Strange," Hermione said, "I would have noticed all those things."

 **Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers.**

"Hay, those birds did nothing to you," Tonks said.

 **Nancy Bobofit was trying to pick pocket something from a lady's purse-.**

"Oh that horrible girl," Tonks said.

 **And, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

"Yeah, that sounds just like something that Snape would do."

Severus glared at him. If his godson was doing that, he wouldn't be able to set down for a month.

 **Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everyone wouldn't know we were from** _that_ **school-the school for the loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

" **Detention?" Grover asked.**

" **Nah," I said, "Not from Mr. Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius.** "

"I wish he wouldn't put himself down," Mr. Weasley said and she took a drink of water that had appeared.

 **Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?'**

"So rude," Hermione remarked.

 **I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

 **I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Sounds like something that Lily would have done if you were this Percy person," Remus told Harry.

"I agree," Luna said, smiling.

 **Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like motorized café table.**

 **I was just about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends.**

"Sounds like Malfoy and his two pea size brain goons," Hermione said.

"Hay, at least their purebloods," Draco said.

"And my son isn't ugly that that horrible muggle girl," Narcissa said.

 **I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists-and dumped her half eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

"Gross," Ginny said.

" **Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

"What's Cheetos?"

"It's a muggle snack," Hermione explained.

"And why would it be liquid?"

"Never mind," Hermione said.

 **I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

 **I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

"Don't blame him for doing it," Harry said.

"Yeah, putting a bully in her place."

 **Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

 **Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-."**

" **The water-."**

" **like it grabbed her-."**

"Did he just do magic?" Neville wondered.

"I doubt it," Hermione said, "I mean, we don't even know if this Percy person is a wizard."

"I most assure you, Miss Granger, that Percy isn't a wizard."

"Then how was he able to do it?"

"You'll find out in due time," Severus told her.

 **I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

 **As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-."**

"Oh she's mad," Cho said.

" **I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

 **That wasn't the right thing to say.**

" **Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

"Don't go with her," Ginny and Cho cried out.

" **Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me.** _I_ **pushed her."**

"He's a true friend," Fred said.

 **I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

 **She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

" **I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

" **But-."**

" **You-** _will_ **-stay-here."**

"Oh he's in trouble," Ron said.

 **Grover looked at me desperately.**

" **It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

" **Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "** _Now_ **."**

 **Nancy Bobofit smirked. I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

 **How'd she get there so fast?**

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Hermione asked.

 **I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

 **I wasn't so sure.**

 **I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

 **Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

"Some teacher," McGonagall said. "I would be more interested in what was going on around me then a book."

 **I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

"Muggles have entrance halls?" Ron said.

Severus saw Hermione rolling her eyes. Looks like the stupid train was still moving a full speed.

 **Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

 **But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

 **I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

 **Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

 **Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

"She's a werewolf," George said.

"Oh honestly, George, its broad daylight," Hermione said.

 **Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…**

" **You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

"She's going to kill him," Lucius said.

"No, she wouldn't dare do that," Hermione said, "There are cameras that will catch her in the act."

 **I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

 **She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

"With what?" Draco asked.

 **The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

"SHE'S YOU-KNOW-WHO'S SISTER," Ron screamed.

"Oh for the love of Merlin, Tom doesn't have a sister," Harry said.

"And how do you know?"

Harry sighed and shook his head.

 **She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

 **I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am."**

 **Thunder shook the building.**

" **We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

 **I didn't know what she was talking about.**

 **All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realize I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take my grade away. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book."**

"Oh please don't find his candy," Ron said.

"There's nothing wrong with reading a book," Hermione said. "Honestly, cheating."

" **Well," she demanded.**

" **Ma'am, I don't…"**

" **Your time is up," she hissed.**

 **Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons, Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

"She's worse than You-Know-Who's sister."

"What the bloody hell is she?"

"A Fury," Harry and Hermione said together.

"A what?" Remus said.

"One of Hades helpers," Harry said, "They punish mortals for things like killing their children or their parents. They make Dementors look like poodles."

 **Then things got even stranger.**

 **Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in the front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

" **What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

 **Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

 **With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword, Mr. Brunner's bronze swords, which he always used on tournament day.**

 **Mrs. Dodds spun towards me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

"Run," Hermione cried out.

 **My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

 **She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

 **And she flew straight at me.**

 **Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

 **The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water.**

 _Hiss!_

 **Mrs. Dodds was a sandcastle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

 **I was alone.**

 **There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

 **Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

 **My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

 **Had I imagined the whole thing?**

"I would think the same thing if I saw that," Ginny said, shivering.

 **I went back outside.**

 **It had started to rain.**

 **Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

 **I said, "Who?"**

" **Our** _teacher_ **. Duh!"**

 **I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

 **She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

 **I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

 **He said, "Who?"**

 **But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

" **Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

 **Thunder boomed overhead.**

 **I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

"How did he get back there so quickly?" Narcissa asked.

 **I went over to him.**

 **He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

 **I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was holding it.**

" **Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds"**

 **He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

"He's lying," Hermione said. "He was there."

"I doubt that he'll admit to it," Fred said.

" **the other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

 **He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Miss Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"**

"That's the end of the chapter," Mrs. Weasley said, closing the book.

"I don't know if I even believe half of what's written in this book," Ron told Harry.

"Trust me, Mr. Weasley, the book speaks the complete truth," Severus told him. "So who wants to go next?"

"I'll do it," Ron said, taking the book and opened it. "Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death."


	3. Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

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To Rasi10: Thanks for your review.

To jazmincita716: Thanks for your review.

To Alejandra459: Glad your enjoying it.

To The Goodie Ravenclaw: I hope this chapter makes you happy.

To Mr. Popo: This will be a very long story, covering all five books, and you'll find out everything. I hope that you will enjoy the ending as much as I'll enjoying writing it.

To P. JacksonPotter: Thanks for your review.

To AnnabethChase 117: Thanks for your review.

To Faeyre: I hope that you will enjoy this chapter.

To Dark: Thanks.

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Chapter 3: Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death

"That title is even stranger than the last," Hermione commented. "How does three old ladies knit the shocks of death?"

"Don't look at me, this is Snape's reading choice."

"Just continue," Harry said. "I want to get out of here before I get old."

 **I was use to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly. This twenty-four/seven hallucination was more than I could handle. For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me.**

"Oh I wonder why he thinks that," Narcissa said with sarcasm in her voice.

 **The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs. Kerr-a perky blond woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip-had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas.**

"I'm surprised that Weasley could say pre-algebra," Draco teased.

"Shut up, Malfoy, I do listen to Hermione."

Draco rolled his eyes.

 **Every so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.**

"What's a psycho?"

"What Bellatrix is?" Lucius answered.

"Yeah, going to agree with that," Neville said, shuttering.

 **It got so I almost believed them-Mrs. Dodds had never existed.**

 **Almost**

 **But Grover couldn't fool me. When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate, then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying.**

"Grover really needs to get better at lying," Ginny said.

 **Something was going on. Something** _had_ **happened at the museum.**

 **I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs. Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.**

"Poor Percy," Ginny said.

"Yeah, reminds me too much of myself," Harry stated.

 **The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the windows in my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy. One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes-**

"What's a plane?" Ron asked Harry.

"What muggles use to fly from one place to the next," Harry said, "It's like being on a broom but you have food and drink delivered to you and people are annoying."

"Ah, what muggles come up with," Mr. Weasley sighed.

"Continue reading," Mrs. Weasley said, glaring at her husband.

"Yeah, sorry," Ron said.

 **That had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.**

"Once again Weasley is proving that he can actually pronounce words correctly."

"Draco, stop taunting him," Lucius said, "As Potter said, I would like to get out of here before I get old."

 **I started to feel cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs. I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class.**

"And we thought Harry had a temper," Fred remarked.

 **Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped, I called him an old sot. I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good.**

 **The Headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy.**

 **Fine, I told myself. Just fine.**

 **I was homesick.**

 **I wanted to be with my mom in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.**

 **And yet…there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good friend, even if he was a little strange. I worried how he'd survive next year without me.**

"Now that's a true friend," Hermione said.

 **I'd miss Latin class, too-Mr. Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do well.**

 **As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr. Brunner had told me about this subject being life and death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him.**

"Yeah, after that Fury, I would believe him to," Harry said.

 **The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the** _ **Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology**_ **across my dorm room.**

"What's Cambridge?"

"It's a school," Hermione answered.

 **Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards.**

"What's a skateboard?"

"It's what teens ride on and get their skulls broken," Hermione snapped.

"Someone doesn't like them."

"Never mind," Hermione muttered and she motioned Ron to continue.

 **There was no way that I was going to remember the difference between Cheron-.**

"Chiron," Hermione corrected and she came over and pulled the book out of his hands. "And this is Charon."

"Thanks," Ron said, going pink.

 **Or Polydictes and Polydeuces.**

She handed it back to Ron, who continued.

 **And conjugating those Latin verbs? Forget it.**

 **I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt.**

 **I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes.** _ **I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.**_

 **I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**

 **I never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**

 **I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr. Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor.**

"Glad to see that he's actually asking for help," Hermione said.

 **I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr. Brunner asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said, "…worried about Percy, sir."**

 **I froze.**

"Why are they talking about him?" Harry asked aloud.

"Don't look at me, I'm just reading."

 **I'm not usually an eavesdropper, but I dare you try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.**

 **I inched closer.**

"He's so going to get caught," Hermione cried out.

"… **.alone this summer," Grover was saying, "I mean, a Kindly One in the** _ **school**_ **! Now that we know for sure, and** _ **they**_ **know too-"**

" **We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy to mature more."**

" **But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline-"**

" **Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can."**

" **Sir, he saw her…"**

" **His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist-."**

"What mist?" Fred asked.

"Maybe it's like at the school in the States," Lucius said, "They use so much enchantments that it looks like mist. It hides the school from muggles."

"Maybe that's what the book means."

 **Over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that."**

" **Sir-I…I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean."**

" **You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall-."**

 **The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**

 **Mr. Brunner went silent.**

" **He's so busted," Tonks said.**

 **My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall.**

"He's going to get caught," George said.

 **A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like an archer's bow.**

"He's dead," Ginny cried out.

 **I opened the nearest door and slipped inside.**

"I would have run back to bed," Draco said.

 **A few seconds later I heard a slow** _ **clop-clop-clop**_ **, like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal sniffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on.**

"Whatever it is will yank that door open. You can't hide your scent from an animal," Remus said.

 **A bead of sweat trickled down my neck.**

"Reminds me of myself," Harry said, not looking at Snape as he spoke.

 **Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," He muttered. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice."**

 **Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.**

" **Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn."**

" **Go back to your dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."**

" **Don't remind me."**

 **The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office.**

 **I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever.**

 **Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.**

 **Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night.**

" **Hay," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?"**

 **I didn't answer.**

" **You look awful." He frowned. "Is everything okay?"**

"Oh yeah, everything is just fine," McGonagall said. "I mean, it's not like he didn't just hear himself the center of a conversation."

" **Just tired."**

 **I turned so that he couldn't read my expression, and started to get ready for bed.**

 **I didn't understand what I'd overheard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing.**

 **But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back. They thought I was in some kind of danger.**

Ron groaned and a glass of water appeared and he drank it.

"I really wish I had pumpkin juice."

The water vanished and a glass of juice appeared.

"Is this room like the Room of Requirement?" Harry wondered.

"I believe that this room and the Room of Requirement might have been established by the same person," Severus told him.

"So they'll be beds," Hermione said and Severus nodded.

Ron looked down at the book and began again.

 **The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour long Latin exam.**

" **THREE HOURS," Fred, George, and Ginny screamed.**

" **Oh honestly," Hermione muttered.**

" **Poor Percy, three hours of having to think," Ron said and McGonagall glared at him.**

 **My eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside.**

 **For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem.**

" **Percy," he said, "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's…it's for the best."**

 **His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips.**

"Is that even possible to make a kissing sound sound sarcastic?"

"I guess with this muggle you can," Narcissa said.

 **I mumbled, "Okay, sir."**

" **I mean…" Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

 **My eyes stung.**

"Poor Percy," Hermione muttered.

 **Here was my favorite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out.**

" **Right," I said, trembling.**

" **No, no," Mr. Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say…you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be-."**

" **Thanks," I blurted out. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me."**

"That was totally rude," Hermione said, crossing her arms and looking at the book as though it was some kind of enemy.

" **Percy-."**

 **But I was already gone.**

"That's not something that I would have told him," Severus remarked. "Chiron lacks the ability to say what he feels, he just puts his foot in his mouth way too much."

"And you know him?"

"I met him, several times, when I went to the States," he said. "I can't this year as the Ministry has put a hold on international travel."

"Is this chapter almost over?" Ron asked everyone.

"It should be," Severus said.

Ron returned to the book.

 **On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.**

 **The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month.**

"Oh I love the Caribbean," Hermione said. "And I've been skiing in Switzerland. They have an amazing magical community over there."

"Oh lucky you," Ron muttered.

"Just start reading," Harry said, "The sooner we finish this chapter the sooner we can close the book."

Ron sighed and turned his attention back to the book.

 **They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were** _ **rich**_ **juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives, or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies.**

 **They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city.**

 **What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine sub-**

"Hermione, what's this word?" Ron asked.

Hermione came over and took the book from Ron's hands.

"Subscriptions," she said, handing the book back.

"Thanks," he said.

 **And spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall.**

" **Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool."**

 **They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**

"Poor Percy," Luna said.

 **The only person I dreaded saying good-bye to was Grover, but as it turned out, I didn't have to. He'd book a ticked to Manhattan on the same Greyhound that I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city.**

 **During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers.**

"Grover is really strange," Tonks remarked.

 **It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound.**

 **Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.**

 **I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"**

Ginny snickered for some reason.

 **Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wha-what do you mean?"**

 **I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam.**

 **Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?"**

" **Oh…not much. What's the summer solstice deadline?"**

 **He winced.**

"Busted," Fred said.

" **Look, Percy…I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about demon math teachers…"**

" **Grover-."**

" **And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and…"**

" **Grover, you're a really, really, bad liar."**

 **His ears turned pink.**

Everyone in the room laughed and Hermione said, "He acts like Ron when his ears turn pink."

"I do not," Ron protested. "Can we please finish this chapter so that I can get this book away from me?"

"Yeah, okay," Tonks said.

 **From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer."**

 **The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out something like:**

 **Grover Underwood, Keeper, Half-blood Hill, Long Island, New York; 800 009 009**

" **What's Half-"**

" **Don't say it aloud!" he yelped. "That's my, um…summer address."**

 **My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy.**

" **Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion."**

 **He nodded. "Or..or if you need me."**

" **Why would I need you?"**

 **It came out harsher than I meant it to.**

"Don't act like that around your friend," Kingsley remarked.

 **Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I-I kind of have to protect you."**

 **I stared at him.**

 **All year long, I'd gotten into fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year without me. And here he was acting as though he was the one who defended** _ **me**_ **.**

" **Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?"**

 **There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with the smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of the highway.**

 **After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else.**

 **We were on a stretch of country road-no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway where was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmer with afternoon heat, was an old fashion fruit stand.**

 **The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of bloodred cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a clawfoot tub filled with ice.**

"This stand is making me hungry," Ron moaned.

"A naked tutu dancer could make you hungry," Hermione countered.

"Hay," Ron said.

"Oh just finish the damn chapter," Kingsley said, "We'll make sure the room gives you apples."

Ron glared at him and went back to the book.

 **There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen.**

 **I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn.**

 **All three woman looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses.**

 **The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me.**

"Did you just say three woman?" Harry asked Ron.

"That's what the book says," Ron said and Harry groaned. "What?"

"This might be a book filled with bloody monsters and figures from Greek myth. I think those three woman are the Fates. Read on, and I'll tell you if I'm right."

 **I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. His nose was twitching.**

" **Grover," I said. "Hay, man-."**

" **Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?"**

" **Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"**

" **Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all."**

"I'm going to guess that Percy isn't the brightest apple in the barrel," Hermione reasoned.

 **The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors-gold and silver, long-bladed, like shears. I heard Grover catch his breath.**

" **We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on."**

" **What?" I said. "It's like a thousand degrees in there."**

" **Come on!" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back.**

 **Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I swear I could hear that** _ **snip**_ **across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be fore-Sasquatch or Godzilla.**

"What is Sasquatch and Godzilla?" Ron asked Hermione.

"Godzilla is a movie monster and Sasquatch is believe to live in the States," Hermione answered.

"And those three woman are the Fates," Harry said, "Merlin, and I thought I had bad luck."

"What are the Fates?" Kingsley asked.

"Three woman from Greek myth that measure a person's life, weaves it, and then cuts it when you're about to die," Harry explained. "They control every person's life."

"And they know that Percy is going to die?"

"Or it could mean that he'll have really bad luck," Hermione reasoned and then she turned to Severus. "Is this the only book?"

"No, there are four others."

"We are going to be in here for a long time," Ron moaned.

"Not if you don't finish the chapter," Remus said.

Ron returned to the book.

 **At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.**

 **The passengers cheered.**

" **Darn, right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody, back on board."**

 **Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu.**

 **Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering.**

" **Grover?"**

" **Yeah?"**

" **What are you not telling me?"**

 **He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?"**

" **You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like…Mrs. Dodds, are they?"**

 **His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you saw."**

" **The middle one too out her scissors, and she cut the yarn."**

 **He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost-older.**

 **He said, "You saw her snip the cord."**

" **Yeah, so?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal.**

" **This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time."**

" **What last time?"**

" **Always sixth grade, They never get past sixth."**

" **Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?"**

" **Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me."**

 **This seemed like a strange request to me, but I promised he could.**

" **Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked.**

 **No answer.**

" **Grover-that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?"**

 **He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on my coffin.**

Ron closed the book, taking a drink of juice.

"That's the end of the chapter, thank Merlin," he said.

"I think that we all need a rest," Remus said.

"And he's hungry," Fred added.

"He's always hungry," Hermione muttered.

"I think that should be it, for now," Severus said and Ron gave the book back to Hermione, as though it had some kind of disease or something.

Food suddenly appeared and they all went to fill their plates. None of them noticed, until later, that Severus was gone.

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A/N: Severus is the only one that can leave whenever he wants. Have a Marry Christmas.


	4. Conversations, Part 1

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 4: Conversations, Part 1

"Do you find it strange that only Snape can leave this room," Ron told Harry. "I mean, what is the point in keeping us here."

"Look at who he works for," Harry told him, "I wouldn't put it past him to use this room to keep us here so that we can't defeat Vol-."

"Don't use his name, Harry, there's a taboo on it."

"Whatever," Harry muttered.

"I think Percy has rotten luck," Hermione said, "I mean, those things that are in that book."

"Which I'm never reading again."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I think that all of our answers to why we're here will be revealed," Luna said, "I mean, everything does happen for a reason."

"Yeah, I like to know Snape's reason."

No one saw Snape for at least a couple of days. While he was gone Harry asked Ginny about the situation inside the castle.

"The Carrows are beyond nasty," she said, "The Unforgivable are used almost all the time. If you don't toe the line then you're punished. Except those in Slytherin."

"Excuse me, but your wrong," Draco countered. "There was a Slytherin girl that was punished for having a squib sister. You think that she deserved the pain that those psycho's handed out."

"Of course not," Hermione said.

"Stop thinking that everything is sunny at Hogwarts," Draco told them. "This place is a break from having to hear those screams."

"We all made mistakes," Lucius said. "And we have to make them up."

"Won't You-Know-Who know that you're gone?"

"I doubt it," Narcissa said. "Severus said that time stops here."

"But not out there," Hermione said.

The room that they were all in provided things to do, including a house elf to help Tonks out since she was almost ready to have her baby. Finally Snape returned, shaking. Harry heard Lucius ask him what was going on.

"Nothing," he said, "It's nothing."

"Nothing, by wand," he said. "What happened?"

"Destroyed the locket," he managed to say and then he sat down. "Nasty thing. Showed me Lily and how much she hated me."

Harry and the others looked at each other.

"When that man is gone, I'm blowing up the house," Narcissa said. "I really mean it."

"Just make sure that you don't blow yourself up."

"I know some twins that could help you out," Severus told her.

"Then their welcome to put a big hole in the ground."

And she stormed off.

"So are we going to start on the next chapter?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"I think that you're ready," Severus said, "It will give me some time to recover from that damn locket."

The book appeared and Draco took it. He opened it and stared at the title.

"Is this Grover ever not going to be weird?" he asked.

Severus grinned, something that Harry had never seen before.

"If you think that he's weird, you haven't met Carter and Sadie Kane. Now they live a weird life."

"Never mind that I asked," Draco said and then he read, "Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants."

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A/N: And that, my friends, is the end of another chapter.


	5. Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

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To Everyone: Sorry about not replying to your comments, but thanks for reviewing.

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Chapter 5: Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants

"How do you lose your pants?" Kingsley asked.

"Don't even ask me," Remus said.

 **Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal**.

"That's totally rude," Hermione commented.

 **I know, I know. It was rude.**

"Glad to know that he agrees with me," Hermione said.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

 **But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead man, muttering "Why does this always have to be sixth grade?** "

"Because he might have had some bad luck," Harry reasoned.

 **Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom. Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown.**

" **East, One-hundred-and-fourth and first." I told the driver.**

"And he leaves Grover far behind," Narcissa said.

"He's going to wish that he hadn't," Snape said.

 **A word about my mother, before you meet her.**

 **Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck. Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five, and she was raised by her uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creative-writing program. Then her uncle got cancer** -."

"What's cancer?" Draco asked.

"It's a nasty muggle disease," Snape and Hermione said at the same time.

"Feel bad for any family member that gets it," Snape said.

Draco returned to the book.

 **And she had to quit school her senior year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.** **The only good break that she ever got was meeting my dad.**

 **I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of a smile. My mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures**."

"Poor Percy," Mrs. Weasley said.

 **See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back.**

 **Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.**

"Why do I have a feeling that he's dead?" Ron said.

 **She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.**

"Reminds me of Lily," Remus said. "They both sound like tough women."

 **Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then he showed his true colors as a world class jerk. When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.**

"Oh that's just gross," Harry said. "And, yes, I know what exactly he's talking about. This Gabe guy sounds worse than Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia."

"Surprised anyone could sound worse than those two," Snape said.

 **Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along…well, when I came home is a good example.**

 **I walked into our little apartment hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The tele-tele-**."

"I hope that's not part of the book," Hermione said.

"I can't pronounce the word," Draco said.

Hermione walked over and looked at the page he was on.

"Television," she read, "It's what muggles use to watch things like the news and shows."

"Thanks, Granger," he muttered.

 **Blaring ESPN. Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.**

 **Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."**

" **Where's my mom?"**

" **Working," he said. "You got any cash?"**

"Rude and disgusting," Hermione hissed.

"What do you expect," Harry said.

"He sounds worse than my dad," Tonks said. "At least my dad has some common sense."

"I'm not reading anymore," Draco said, "I want to hex him."

"I'll take over," Snape said, taking the book from him.

 **That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?**

 **Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes. He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.**

 **He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I don't' know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer. Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our 'guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.**

"I agree with Malfoy, I want to hex him," Ron said.

" **I don't have any cash," I told him.**

 **He raised a greasy eyebrow.**

 **Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.**

" **You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. "Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?** "

"I hope he doesn't agreed with that horrible man," Hermione said.

 **Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."**

" **Am I** _ **right**_ **?" Gabe repeated.**

"He's determined that someone agrees with him?" Ron said.

 **Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.**

"That's just gross."

" **Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose."**

" **Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"**

 **I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place small like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.**

"My aunt would lose it if she saw that room," Harry remarked.

 **I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.**

 **Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's sheers snipping the yarn.**

 **But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic-how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone-something-was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.**

Everyone shuttered for some unknown reason.

 **Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?"**

 **She opened the bedroom door and my fears melted.**

 **My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. He eyes sparkled and changed color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.**

"Now that's a wicked mother," Fred said.

"Yeah, at least she doesn't sound like a raging harpy," George said.

Mrs. Weasley gave George a look that did remind most here of a raging harpy.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing, mum."

" **Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas."**

 **Her red-white-and blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of 'free samples," the way she always did when I came home.** "

"He's going to rot his teeth," Hermione said.

"Yes daughter of teeth doctors," Mr. Weasley said.

 **We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't mention anything about me getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay. Was her little boy doing alright?**

"That's exactly how Lily would have acted," Remus said.

Harry felt the tears welling up but he managed to put it down. After a few moments he continued.

 **I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her.**

 **From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hay, Sally-how about some bean dip, huh?"**

 **I gritted my teeth.**

 **My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not some jerk like Gabe.**

"I'm going to agree with that," Tonks said.

 **For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. Done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convinced myself. I started chocking up, thinking about Grover** -.

"Who you left behind, moron," Hermione said.

 **And Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad.**

 **Until that trip to the museum…**

" **What?" my mom asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?"**

" **No, Mom."**

 **I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid.**

 **She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but she didn't push me.**

" **I have a surprise for you," she said, "We're going to the beach."**

 **My eyes widened. "Montauk"**

" **Three nights-same cabin."**

" **When?"**

 **She smiled. "As soon as I get changed."**

 **I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money.**

 **Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"**

"Oh I'll give him bean dip," Hermione hissed.

"Hermione," Ron said.

"Oh Miss Granger is violent," Lucius said.

 **I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we would get out of here.**

" **I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip."**

 **Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?"**

" **I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."**

" **Of course he will," my mother said evenly. "Your stepfather is just worried about money. That's all. Besides," she added. "Gabe won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour Crème. The works."**

 **Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip….it comes out of your clothes budget, right?"**

" **Yes, honey," my mother said.**

" **And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back."**

" **We'll be very careful."**

 **Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip…and maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."**

 **Maybe if I kicked you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.**

 **But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad.**

 **Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought?**

" **I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry for interrupting your incredibly important poker game. Please go back to it right now."**

 **Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement.**

"I so wouldn't have said that I was sorry," Tonks said. "Little brainless jerk."

" **Yeah, whatever," he decided.**

 **He went back to his game.**

" **Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about…whatever you've forgotten to tell me."**

"That woman is a saint," Remus said. "My mother would have freaked out if she thought I was hiding anything."

 **For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes-the same fear I'd seen in Grover during the bus ride-as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air.**

 **But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken. She ruffled my hair and went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip.**

 **An hour later we were ready to leave.**

 **Gabe took a break from his poker game long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the car. He kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking-and more important, his '78 Camaro-for the whole weekend.**

"Oh what a damn fucking jerk," Hermione hissed and everyone, including Harry, stared at her.

"Miss Granger," Snape said, shocked at her tone and her use of language.

"Oh bite me," Hermione snapped.

There was silence and then Harry went back reading.

" **Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little scratch."**

 **Like I'd be the one driving. I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.**

 **Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the bus, a sort of warding-off-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement towards Gabe. The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon. Maybe it was just the wind, or some freak accident with the hinges, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.**

 **I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it.**

Harry stopped and took a drink of water.

"If that was magic then Percy is pretty powerful," Hermione said, "I mean, he could be a wizard."

"I doubt that," Remus said. "I mean, most of the stuff in this book is Greek."

"I'm going to agree," Mr. Weasley said.

 **Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand on the sheets and spiders in the cabinets, and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in.**

 **I loved the place.**

 **We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my dad.**

 **As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea.**

 **We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.**

"What's the deal with all the blue?" Ron asked.

"I'm sure the book will explain," Hermione told him.

 **I guess I should explain the blue food.**

 **See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out to her way to eat blue. She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This-along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano-was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me.**

"See, told you," Hermione said.

 **Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came to Montauk-my father. Mom's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things she always did, and I never got tired of hearing them.**

" **He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes."**

 **Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud."**

 **I wonder how she could say that. What was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.**

" **How old was I?" I asked. "I mean…when he left?"**

 **She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."**

" **But…he knew me as a baby."**

" **No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born."**

 **I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember…something about my father. A warm glow. A smile.**

 **I had always assumed he knew me as a baby. My mom had never said it outright, but still, I'd felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen me…**

 **I felt angry at my father. Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mom. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with Smelly Gabe.**

" **Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?"**

 **She pulled a marshmallow from the fire.**

" **I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think…I think we'll have to do something."**

" **Because you don't want me around?" I regretted the words as soon as they were out.**

"Poor Percy," Mrs. Weasley said, and she had a bit of emotion in them.

 **My mom's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh Percy, no I-I** _ **have**_ **to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."**

 **Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said-that it was best for me to leave Yancy.**

" **Because I'm not normal," I said.**

" **You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe.** "

"She's really worried about him," Kingsley said.

"I don't blame her," Hermione told him. "It sounds like he's always in danger."

Everyone looked at Harry.

"What?"

"He sounds exactly like you," Kingsley told him.

Harry thought about this and figured that Kingsley did have a point.

" **Safe from what?"**

 **She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me-all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget.**

 **During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believe me when I told that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.**

"Cyclops," Snape said.

"You know a bit about this stuff," Remus said.

"Let's just say that the old Wizarding families know about the myths," he said. "Even though I was raised in a muggle household it was one of the view traditions that my mum was able to keep."

Figures, Harry thought.

 **Before that-a really early memory I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.**

 **In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move.**

 **I knew I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. But I couldn't make myself tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I didn't want that.**

" **I've tried to keep you as close to mas I could," My mom said. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy-the place your father wanted to send you. And I just…I just couldn't stand to do it."**

" **My father wanted me to go to a special school."**

" **Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."**

"How's a bloody summer camp going to help Percy?" Ron asked us.

"I don't know."

 **My head was spinning. Why would my dad-who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me born-talk to my mom about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she ever mentioned it before?**

" **I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I-I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."**

" **For good? But if it's only a summer camp…"**

 **She turned towards the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more questions she would start to cry.**

 **That night I had a vivid dream. It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. The eagle swooped down and slashed the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagle's wings. As they fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.**

 **I ran towards them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I screamed,** _ **No**_ **!**

"And I thought my dreams was weird," Harry said after he had taken a sip of water again.

 **I woke with a start.**

 **Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.**

 **With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane."**

 **I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seemed to have forgotten. Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that made my hair stand on end.**

 **Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice-someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door.**

"BOO!" Snape yelled and everyone screamed.

A loud chuckled came from Snape, which was beyond strange.

"I just couldn't help myself," he said.

"If you kill us, I'm coming back and haunting you," Tonks said, her face white.

"Can we finish this chapter before Snape tries to kill someone else," Remus said.

 **My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock.**

 **Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't..he wasn't exactly Grover.**

" **Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?"**

"Probably not much," Hermione said, glaring at Snape.

 **My mother looked at me in terror-not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.**

" **Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?"**

 **I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.**

" _ **Oh Zeu kai alloi theoi!"**_ **he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"**

 **I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly.**

 **I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on-and where his legs should be…where his legs should be…**

 **My mom was looking at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before:** _ **"Percy.**_ **Tell me** _ **now**_ **!"**

 **I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.**

 **She grabbed her purse, tossed me my rain jacket, and said, "Get to the car. Both of you.** _ **Go**_ **!"**

"Looks like that trip is canceled," Ron said.

 **Grover ran for the Camaro-but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about the muscular disorder in his legs made sense to me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked.**

 **Because where his feet should be, there were no feet. There were cloven hooves.**

Harry closed the book and took another drink of water.

"That's it," he told them. "For the chapter."

"Who wants a turn?" Snape asked.

"I'll do it," Tonks said and she took the book from Harry and opened it. "My Mother Teaches Me to Bullfight."


	6. My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 6: My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting

"Now this should be an interesting chapter," Ron said as Tonks started to read.

 **We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the windshield. I didn't know how my mom could see anything, but she kept her foot on the gas.**

 **Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat and wondering if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants. But, no, the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo-lanolin, like from wool.**

 **The smell of a wet barnyard animal.**

 **All I could think to say was, "so, you and my mom..know each other?"**

 **Grover's eyes flitted to the rearview mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."**

" **Watching me?"**

"That's really creepy," Kingsley remarked.

" **Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," He added hastily. "I** _ **am**_ **your friend."**

" **Um…what** _ **are**_ **you, exactly?"**

" **That doesn't matter right now."**

" **It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey-"**

"Poor choice of words," Snape remarked.

"And how would you know?" Tonks asked him.

He didn't answer her question and she returned to the book.

 **Grover let out a sharp, throaty, "** _ **Blaa-ha-ha!**_ **"**

 **I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat.**

" **Goat," he cried.**

" **What?"**

" **I'm a** _ **goat**_ **from the waist down."**

" **You just said it didn't matter."**

" _ **Blaa-ha-ha!**_ **There are satyrs who would trample you under hoof for such an insult!"**

" **Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like…Mr. Brunner's myths?"**

" **Where those old ladies at the fruit stand a** _ **myth**_ **, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?"**

" **So you** _ **admit**_ **there was a Mrs. Dodds!"**

"I don't think he gets it," Hermione said.

"I doubt that Percy gets much of anything," Draco said.

" **Of course."**

" **Then why-"**

" **The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the human's eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are."**

" **Who I-wait a minute, what do you mean?"**

 **The weird bellowing noise rose up against somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail.**

" **Percy," my mom said. "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety."**

" **Safety from what? Who's after me?"**

" **Oh nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood thirstiest minions.** "

"Hades," Hermione said.

"Who?" Ron asked.

"The Lord of the Dead is the god Hades," Hermione explained. "He's the oldest brother of the whole lot of them."

A chill spread at the mention of Hades name.

"I think we should just move on," Remus said.

" **Grover!"**

" **Sorry Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?"**

 **I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.**

 **My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses and wooded hills and** _ **PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES**_ **signs on white picket fences.**

" **Where are we going?" I asked.**

" **The summer camp I told you about," My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you."**

" **The place you didn't want to me to go."**

" **Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger."**

" **Because of some old ladies cut yarn."**

" **Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means-the fact they appear in front of you? They only do that when you're about to…when someone's about to die."**

" **Whoa. You said 'you.'"**

" **No I didn't. I said 'someone.'"**

" **You meant 'you.' As in** _ **me**_ **."**

" **I meant you, like 'someone.' Not you,** _ **you**_ **."**

"Boys," Hermione muttered.

" **Boys!" my mom said.**

 **She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid-a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.**

" **What was that?" I asked.**

" **We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please. Please."**

 **I didn't know where** _ **there**_ **was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.**

 **Outside, nothing but rain and darkness-the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock. She really** _ **hadn't**_ **been human. She'd meant to kill me.**

 **Then I thought about Mr. Brunner… and the sword that he had thrown me. Before I could ask Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling** _ **boom**_ **!, and our car exploded.**

"He's dead," Ron said.

"If he dies then why there are four other books," Hermione asked him.

"Don't look at me," Ron said.

"Please continue," Hermione said to Tonks.

 **I remembered feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time.**

 **I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow."**

" **Percy," my mom shouted.**

" **I'm okay…"**

 **I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't dead. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's side doors were wedged in the mud. The room had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in.**

"His stepfather is going to be really mad," Fred said.

"Who cares," everyone said at the same time.

 **Lightning. That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road**. **Next to me in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!"**

 **He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!**

"Now that's a friend I would have liked to have," Harry remarked.

 **Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.**

" **Percy," my mother said, "we have to…" Her voice faltered.**

 **I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a figure lumbering towards us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns.**

 **I swallowed hard. "Who is-."**

" **Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car."**

 **My mother threw herself against the driver side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking.**

" **Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy-you have to run. Do you see that big tree?"**

" **What?"**

 **Another flash of lightning and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant.**

"What is the deal about a tree?" Ron asked.

"I think that Percy's mum knows what she's talking about," Hermione said.

"Yeah, how?"

"I think we should allow Tonks to finish before we turn this into a full blown argument."

"Yes, please," Snape said.

 **A huge White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.**

" **That is the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door."**

" **Mom," you're coming too."**

 **Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean.**

" **No!" I shouted. "You** _ **are**_ **coming with me. Help me carry Grover."**

" **Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder.**

 **The man with the blanket on his head kept coming towards us, making his grunting, snorting noises.**

"Merlin, I think I know what it is," Harry said.

"What?" Ron asked.

"You'll find out," Harry told him.

 **As he got closer, I realized he** _ **couldn't**_ **be holding a blanket over his head, because his hands-huge meaty hands-were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head…was his head. At the points that looked like horns….**

" **He doesn't want us," my mother told me. "He wants you. Besides, I can't cross the property line."**

" **But…"**

" **We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please."**

"Can he please listen to her," Ron begged.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

 **I got mad, then-mad at my mother, at Grover the goat, at the thing with horns that was lumbering towards us slowly and deliberately like, like a bull.**

 **I climbed across Grover and pushed the door open into the rain. "We're going together. Come on, Mom."**

" **I told you-."**

" **Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover."**

 **I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mom hadn't come to my aid.**

 **Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet-waist high grass.**

 **Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven foot tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of** _ **Muscle Man**_ **magazine-bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes except underwear-I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms-which would've looked funny, except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.**

 **His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns-enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener.**

 **I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us. But he couldn't be real.**

 **I blinked the rain out of my eyes.**

" **That's-"**

" **Pasiphae's son," my mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."**

" **But he's the Min-"**

" **Don't** _ **say**_ **his name," she warned. "Names have power."**

 **The pine tree was still way too far- a hundred yards uphill at least.**

 **I glanced behind me again.**

 **The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows-or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were fifty feet away.**

" **Food?" Grover moaned.**

" **Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?"**

" **His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough."**

"I like her, she knows her monsters," Hagrid said.

 **As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof, the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded.**

 _ **Not a scratch,**_ **I remembered Gabe saying.**

 **Oops.**

" **Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way-directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?"**

" **How do you know all this?"**

" **I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I was selfish, keeping you near me."**

" **Keeping me near you? But-"**

 **Another bellowing of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill.**

 **He had smelled us.**

 **The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and Grover wasn't getting any lighter.**

 **The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us.**

 **My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate! Remember what I said."**

 **I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right-it was our only chance. I sprinted to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowing with hate. He reeked like rotten meat.**

 **He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest.**

 **The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but wouldn't work. I could never outrun this thing. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side.**

 **The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not towards me, towards my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.**

 **We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it.**

 **The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eyeing my mother, who was now retreating slowly downhill, back towards the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover.**

" **Run, Percy!" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!"**

 **But I just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shout out and grabbed her by the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air**

" **Mom!"**

 **She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word "Go!"**

 **Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around my mother's neck, and she dissolved before my eyes, melting into light, shimmering golden form, as if she were a holographic projection. A blinding flash, and she was simply…gone."**

"Oh no," Mrs. Weasley cried out. "She's dead!"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Now I do know that he's like me," Harry said, feeling the same rage that he had felt when he thought that Sirius had betrayed his parents.

" **No!"**

 **Anger replaced my fear. New found strength burned in my limbs-the same rush of energy I'd gotten when Mrs. Dodds grew talons.**

 **The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched over, snuffling my best friend, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too.**

 **I couldn't allow that.**

 **I stripped off my red rain jacket.**

" **Hay!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid! Ground beef!"**

"Okay, that has got to be the dumbest thing that I've ever seen someone do," Hermione said. "Everyone knows that red is to cover up the blood. It doesn't affect bulls at all."

"I have a feeling that this bull hasn't heard your reasoning."

" **Raaaarrrr!" The monster turned towards me, shaking his meaty fists.**

 **I had an idea-a stupid idea, but better than no idea at all. I put my back to the big pine tree and waved my red jacket in front of the bull-man, thinking I'd jump out of the way at the last moment.**

 **But it didn't happen like that.**

 **The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way I tried to dodge.**

 **Time slowed down.**

 **My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, so I leaped straight up, kicking off from the creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck.**

 **How did I do that? I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out.**

 **The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake me. I locked my arms around his horns to keep from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going stronger. The rain was in my eyes. The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils.**

 **The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear; forward.**

 **Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the way I was getting tossed around, If I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off.**

" **Food!" Grover groaned.**

"What is up with his obsession with food?" Hermione asked, "Reminds me of someone really annoying."

"Hay," Ron said.

"Never mind," Hermione remarked and most people laughed.

 **The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. I thought about how he had squeezed the life out of my mother, made her disappear in a flash of light, and rage filled me like high-octane fuel.**

"What the heck is he even talking about?"

"He's talking about what goes into the more expensive cars," Hermione told him. "I'll show you next time."

 **I got both hands around one horn and I pulled backwards with all my might. The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then-** _ **snap!"**_

 **The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass. My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry, but I had the horn in my hands, a ragged bone weapon the size of a knife.**

"Oh this isn't good," Hermione moaned.

"I would think not," Kingsley said.

 **The monster charged.**

 **Without thinking, I rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, I drove the broken bone straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage.**

 **The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate-not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, but like crumbling sand, blown away in chucks by the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart.**

 **The monster was gone.**

 **The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and scared and trembling with grief. I'd just seen my mother vanish. I wanted to cry, but there was Grover, needing my help, so I managed to haul him up and stagger down into the valley, towards the lights of the farmhouse. I was crying, calling for my mother, but I held on to Grover-I wasn't going to let him go.**

 **The last thing I remembered is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and then stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's. They both looked down at me, and the girl said, "He's the one. He must be."**

" **Silence, Annabeth," the man said, "He's still conscious. Bring him inside."**

Tonks closed the book and put it down.

"I'm tired," she told them.

"I think that it's time for a break," Snape said and no one argued.


	7. Conversations, Part 2

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 7: Conversations: Part 2

Once again Snape left them alone. Harry, and the others, had a pretty good idea what he was doing.

"Why is it that Snape can leave, but we can't," Ron asked them.

"Don't look at me," Hermione said.

"Severus is a Headmaster," Narcissa told them. "If he can't leave then who will run the school?"

"Yeah, he's better than most," Draco said.

"You're only saying that because he's your godfather," Harry told him.

"That's such a lie."

"Can we please stop arguing," Tonks demanded. "At least food arrives and we can sleep."

"That I can agree with," Kingsley said.

"So is there any way that we can get out of here," Mrs. Weasley asked.

"If the Founders created this room, and it feels like they did, then only Snape can release us. Of course he has set up requirements that need to be met so that the room will let us go. Until then, we are at his mercy."

"Just like Dumbledore was at his mercy," Harry said.

"This is a bit different," Remus stated. "We are actually at the mercy of the Founder's magic, not Snape's magic."

"Doesn't mean the difference to me."

"Harry, I think Remus knows what he's talking about," Hermione told him. "Have you been getting any visions?"

"No, but Dumbledore believes that Tom is locking himself away from me."

"Because you'll know his plans," Kingsley said and Harry nodded. "Still, I'll bet on Founder magic and not Snape's magic."

"I think we should jump Snape when he comes back," Ron suggested.

"I don't think that will be a good idea," Mrs. Weasley said. "Look who is locked in the room with us."

There was a sudden flash of light and there stood McGonagall and Sprout.

"What the devil is going on here?" McGonagall demanded.

"He has you trapped in here too," Hermione moaned.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. "I haven't seen the Headmaster in three days. How can he trap someone that he hasn't seen?"

"Yep, its Founder's magic."

"What's going on here?" Sprout asked.

"We're reading a stupid book," Ron told her. "Snape is making us read. It proves how evil he is."

Both Harry and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"So when you're done reading this book then the room will let you go."

"We have to read all five of them," Ron said, "Merlin, he's evil."

"That's enough, Ronald," Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"Well let's get this over with," Minerva said. "I'll read whatever chapter that you're on."

Harry handed the book and told her where they were.

"I Play Pinochle with a Horse," she read.

"Let it begin again," Ron groaned.

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A/N: Thanks, everyone, for the reviews. You all have been great.


	8. I Play Pinochle with a Horse

Title: Headmaster Snape and The Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room that was once used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in-order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 8: I Play Pinochle with a Horse

"What is Pino-?"

"Pinochle," Hermione said, "It's a card game."

"And why would he be playing it with a horse?"

"I don't know," Harry said.

 **I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.**

 **I must've woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered popcorn, only it was pudding. The girl with curly blond hair hovered over me, smirking as she scraped drips off of my chin with the spoon.**

"Being dependent on someone isn't right, or proper," Malfoy said.

"I'm sure you tell your mum that all the time," Harry said.

 **When she saw my eyes open, she asked, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"**

 **I managed to croak, "What?"**

"I think that we would all like to know that," Hermione commented.

 **She looked around, as if afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"**

" **I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I don't…."**

 **Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with pudding.**

 **The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.**

 **A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He had blue eyes-at least a dozen of them-on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.**

"That's way too creepy," Ron said.

"I'm going to agree," Lucius said.

 **When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surroundings, except that they were nicer than I was use to. I was setting in a deck chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries.** "

"I'm getting hungry," Ron moaned.

"Do you ever stop eating?" Hermione asked him.

"Hay, I'm a growing boy."

Everyone snorted at that.

 **There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.**

"And I thought breaking my arm was painful," Harry said.

"It seems like Percy's life is going to be filled with nothing but pain," Hermione stated.

 **On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.**

 **My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it.**

" **Careful," a familiar voice said.**

"I hope its Grover," Hermione said. "I'm starting to like him."

"Hagrid would like him," Kingsley said.

 **Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn't slept in a week. Under one arm, he cradled a shoe box**.

"What's a shoe box?" Ron asked.

"Honestly, Ron, you should have taken Muggle Studies," Hermione told him.

"And why would I want to do something like that?"

"Because you wouldn't off asked a dumb question," Malfoy said. "A shoe box is a box that holds shoes."

Everyone, minus the Professors, all stared at him.

"I took the course," Draco told them.

McGonagall went back to the book.

 **He was wearing blue jeans, converse hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Just plain old Grover. Not the goat boy.**

 **So maybe I'd had a nightmare. Maybe my mom was okay. We were still on vacation, and we'd stopped here at this big house for some reason. And…**

" **You saved my life," Grover said. "I...well, the least I could do..I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."**

 **Inside was a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood.**

 **It hadn't been a nightmare.**

" **The Minotaur," I said.**

" **Um, Percy, it isn't a good idea-."**

" **That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" I demanded. "The Minotaur. Half, man, half bull."**

 **Grover shifted uncomfortably. "You've been out for two days. How much do you remember?"**

" **My mom. Is she really…"**

 **He looked down.**

"Poor Percy," Hermione moaned.

Mrs. Weasley blew her nose.

 **I stared across the meadow. There was groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight.**

 **My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing should look beautiful.**

" **I'm sorry," Grover sniffled. "I'm a failure. I'm-I'm the worst satyr in the world."**

 **He moaned, stomping his food so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top came off. The inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.**

" **Oh, Styx!" he mumbled.**

"Grover has a strange way of talking," Luna remarked.

Ron snorted at her statement.

 **Thunder rolled across the clear sky.**

 **As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that settles it.**

 **Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I find tiny horns on his head. But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or even Minotaur's.**

 **All that meant was my mom really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.**

 **I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with…Smelly Gabe? No. That would never happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen and join the army. I'd do something.**

"And I never thought I would encounter someone that's just as bad as the Dursley's," Harry said. "Don't blame him for not wanting to live with someone that made his life hell."

"I'm going to agree with that," Hermione stated.

 **Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid-poor goat, satyr, whatever-looked as if he expected to be hit.**

 **I said, "It wasn't your fault."**

" **Yes, it was. I was supposed to** _ **protect**_ **you."**

" **Did my mother ask you to protect me?"**

" **No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least…I was."**

" **But why…" I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming.**

" **Don't strain yourself," Grover said. "Here."**

 **He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to my lips.**

"I can't believe that he blames himself," Hermione said. "It wasn't his fault."

"That I'm going to agree with," Ron said.

 **I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was chocolate chip cookies. Liquid cookies. And not just any cookies-my mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips just melting. Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but it felt as if my mom had just brushed her hand against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to be okay.**

"How can a drink do that?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"Must be magic," Mrs. Weasley concluded.

"Or a potion," Fred said.

"Still magic," Hermione said.

 **Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.**

" **Was it good?" Grover asked.**

 **I nodded.**

"That's a dumb question to ask," Kingsley said.

" **What did it taste like?" He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.**

" **Sorry," I said. "I should've let you taste."**

 **His eyes got wide. "No! That's not what I meant. I just…wondered."**

" **Chocolate-chip cookies," I said. "My mom's. Homemade."**

 **He sighed. "And how do you feel?"**

" **Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards."**

Everyone laughed in the room.

" **That's good," he said, "That's good. I don't think you should risk drinking any more of that stuff."**

" **What do you mean?"**

"Grover is just confusing here," Hermione said.

"I think the author is confusing," Kingsley remarked.

 **He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting."**

"What the heck did they give him?"

"Something that most likely is dangerous," Hermione told Mrs. Weasley.

 **The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse. My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the Minotaur horn, but I held on to it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn't going to let it go.**

"I would have tossed it," Ron said.

"Yeah, but he lost his mum," Hermione told him. "I doubt that he would think the way that you do."

 **As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath. We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing. The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture-an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena-except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kings in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooden trail, and, unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.**

"The horses sound like something Madam Maxim had," Lucius commented.

"What's a pavilion?" Ron asked them.

"I'll get you a book on ancient Greek buildings," Hermione promised.

"Like I would read it."

"Then you won't find out, will you?" Hermione countered.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, that is enough," Snape's voice said and they all turned to see him standing there. "Merlin, you both can give a sane person bad thoughts."

Harry glared at him.

"Let's get back to the story, please," Mrs. Weasley demanded.

 **Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoon-fed me popcorn-flavored pudding was leaning on the porch rail next to them.**

 **The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it was almost purple.**

"Reminds me of my uncle," Draco said.

Harry was shocked that Malfoy had any other relations.

 **He looked like those paintings of baby angels-what do you call them, hubbubs? No, cherub. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park.**

"What's a trailer park?" Ron asked.

"It's where poor people live," Snape answered.

 **He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt, and he would've fit right in at one of Gabe's poker parties, except I got the feeling this guy could've out-gambled even my stepfather.**

" **That's Mr. D," Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron…"**

 **He pointed to the guy whose back was to me.**

 **First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.**

" **Mr. Brunner!" I cried.**

"Sounds like Percy found another friendly face," Remus said.

"Thank Merlin for that."

 **The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers B.**

"Like him already," Fred Weasley said.

"Merlin, never thought I would encounter someone in a book that reminded me too much of the Weasley twins."

Harry glared at Snape when he spoke.

" **Ah, good, Percy," he said. "Now we have four for pinochle."**

 **He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and heaved a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-blood. There. Now, don't expect me to be glad to see you."**

"Rude," Tonks said.

" **Um, thanks." I scooted a little farther away from him because, if there was one thing I had learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult had been hitting the happy juice. If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr**."

"Happy-."

"Booze, Mr. Weasley," Snape cut in.

Ron glared at him, but said nothing.

" **Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.**

 **She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. "This young lady nursed you back to health. Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go and check on Percy's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now."**

 **Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron."**

 **She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole long more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.**

"Sounds like my kind of person," Hermione said.

"I'm shock, Miss Granger, you like violent people," Snape said to her.

"There's a lot of things about me that you don't know."

"Getting back to the book," McGonagall said and she started to read again.

 **She glanced at the Minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say,** _ **You killed a Minotaur!**_ **Or** _ **Wow, you're really awesome!**_ **Or something like that.**

 **Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."**

 **Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.**

"Sounds like something my stupid fan club would say," Harry said.

"Yeah, like Colin Creevy," Ron remarked.

" **So," I said, anxious to change the subject. "You, um, work here, Mr. Brunner?"**

" **Not Mr. Brunner," the ex-Mr. Brunner said, "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym."**

"What the heck is a pseu-whatever?"

"It means that it's not his real name," Snape said. "Honestly, Potter, Granger, how the hell do you put up with dim wit of the century?"

Harry got mad, but Ginny said, "He does have a point."

"I'm not a dim-whatever," Ron protested.

"I think I've proven myself correct," Snape said.

McGonagall glared at him and continued.

" **You may call me Chiron."**

" **Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D…does that stand for something?"**

 **Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason."**

"Piece of advice that you should have been using," Snape told Harry. "The Dark Lord chose that name because he was powerful."

Harry didn't want to hear anything that Snape had to say. To him he killed Dumbledore and nothing that he said Harry would listen to.

"I'm afraid that Snape does have a point," Kingsley said. "His name is very powerful and when you use it, bad things happen."

Harry chose to ignore this as well.

" **Oh. Right. Sorry."**

" **I must say, Percy," Chiron-Brunner broken in. "I'm glad to see you alive. It's been a long time since I made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."**

" **House call?"**

"I'm confused," Ron said.

"Yeah, you're not the only one," Harry said.

" **My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to..ah, take a leave of absence."**

 **I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long ago, but I did have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first week at Yancy. Then, without explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had taken the class.**

" **You came to Yancey just to teach me?" I asked.**

 **Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."**

"What the bloody hell is Camp Half-blood?" Ron asked.

"Ronald, watch your mouth," Molly demanded.

"I guess where he's at," Harry said.

" **Grover," Mr. D said impatiently, 'are you playing or not?"**

" **Yes, sir! "Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.**

" **You** _ **do**_ **know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyed me suspiciously.**

" **I'm afraid not," I said.**

" **I'm afraid not, sir," he said.**

"Reminds me too much of Snape," Ron said.

"No, of Umbridge," Harry corrected.

" **Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.**

" **Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all** _ **civilized**_ **young men to know the rules."**

" **I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron said.**

" **Please," I said, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun-Chiron-why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"**

 **Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question."**

 **The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in his pile.**

 **Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was,** _ **I**_ **was his star student. He expected** _ **me**_ **to have the right answer.**

" **Percy," He said, "Did your mother tell you nothing?"**

" **She said…" I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her."**

"I feel sorry for her," Molly said.

" **Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"**

"Rude," Hermione said.

" **What?" I asked.**

 **He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.**

" **I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient."**

"They have a film," Harry remarked.

" **Orientation film?" I asked.**

" **No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know"- he pointed to the horn in the shoe box- "that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods-the forces you call the Greek gods-are very much alive."**

"He has got to be joking," Draco said. "The Greek gods are real. Myths that stupid muggles believed in are presented as fact."

"Draco, you forget that our Wizarding ancestors believed in those same gods," Snape said. "Don't insult their memory by making stupid comments."

"Oh come on, Uncle, you believe in this-."

"Their beliefs aren't harming you or anyone else," Snape cut off, his eyes narrowing and Harry had only seen him this angry, which usually involved him.

"Fine, whatever."

McGonagall shook her head and returned to the book.

 **I stared at the others around the table.**

 **I waited for somebody to yell,** _ **Not**_ **! But all I got was Mr. D yelling, 'Oh a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points.**

"That man is way too obsessed with that game," Hermione said.

" **Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?"**

" **Eh? Oh, all right."**

 **Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.**

"How can he eat that?" Ron asked.

"Because he can," Hermione answered. "His stomach processes things differently."

Ron rolled his eyes and said, "Please, don't use long names around me."

"And I wonder how you managed to even get past your sixth year," Tonks remarked.

Ron ignored her.

" **Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."**

" **Well, now," Chiron said, "God-capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."**

"Meta-what?"

"Outside the realm of the normal," Harry answered.

" **Metaphysical? But you were just talking about-"**

" **Ah gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."**

" **Smaller?"**

" **Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class."**

" **Zeus," I said. "Hera, Apollo. You mean them."**

 **And there it was again-distant thunder on a cloudless day.**

" **Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual throwing those names around, if I were you."**

" **But they're stories," I said. "They're myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."**

" **Science!" Mr. D. scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"-I flinched when he said my real name, which I never told anyone-"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now? Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals-they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."**

 **I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as if…he wasn't. It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut.**

" **Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that** _ **immortal**_ **means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"**

 **I was about to answer, off the top of my head, that it sounded like a pretty good deal, but the tone of Chiron's voice made me hesitate.**

" **You mean, whether people believe in you or not," I said.**

" **Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people will call you a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?"**

 **My heart pounded. He was trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. I said, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."**

" **Oh you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you."**

"That's being rude," Remus remarked.

"I think that Chiron does have a point," Hermione said. "I mean, people don't believe that we're real and we know we are."

"Point taken, Granger," Kingsley said.

 **Grover said, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."**

" **A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe!"**

 **He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine.**

 **My jar dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up.**

" **Mr. D," he warned. "your restrictions."**

 **Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise.**

" **Dear me. "He looked at the sky and yelled. "Old habits! Sorry!"**

 **More thunder.**

 **Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.**

"How the bloody hell did he do that?" Ron asked.

"Ron, language," Mrs. Weasley scolded. "But I'm going to say that he's right. How did he do that?"

"Must be some kind of spell," Harry said.

 **Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits."**

" **A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space.**

"What's outer space?" Ron asked.

"Honestly," Harry said, "You really should have taken muggle studies."

"Not how the Professor taught it," Snape remarked, "Can't even say the name of muggle things right."

Harry sighed.

" **Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time-well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay away-the second time, he sent me here. Half Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. "Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha! Absolutely unfair."**

 **Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little kid.**

"Well, how he acts, he deserved what he got," Hermione said. "Upset that daddy punished him."

"Well you can tell that he's not really bright," Snape said, "He did it because he knew that his father would make some noise."

"And how do you know-?"

"How it's written," Snape cut in.

"I'm going to agree with him," McGonagall said and then she went back to the book.

" **And," I stammered, "your father is…"**

" _ **Di immortales,**_ **Chiron," Mr. D said, "I thought you taught this kid the basics. My father is Zeus, of course."**

 **I ran though D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger, the satyrs that all seem to work here. The way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master.**

" **Your Dionysus," I said, "The god of wine."**

 **Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, "Well duh!'?"**

" **Y-yes, Mr. D."**

" **Well then, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"**

" **You're a god."**

" **Yes, child."**

" **A god. You."**

 **He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines coking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a straightjacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.**

" **Would you like to test me, child" he said quietly.**

" **No, No, sir."**

"He's also the god of madness," Hermione said.

"And you wonder where insane people come from," Lucius said. "Though, if the gods were real that would explain why Bellatrix is a bitch."

"I'm going to agree, dear," Narcissa said.

"So he could make a bloke mad," Ron said.

"Insane, thinking that things are talking to them when they're not. Centuries ago it was believe that anyone that was mad had been punished by Dionysus."

"What strange things muggles believed in?"

"Wizards believed in them too," Hermione countered.

"Can we get back to this book?" McGonagall demanded.

"Sorry," Hermione muttered.

 **The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win."**

" **Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me."**

 **I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He got up, and Grover rose, too.**

" **I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But, first, Grover, we need to talk,** _ **again**_ **, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."**

 **Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."**

"That's totally unfair," Hermione remarked. "He didn't do anything wrong."

"Sounds like a big bully."

 **Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners."**

 **He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.**

" **Will Grover be okay?" I asked Chiron.**

 **Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been..ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."**

" **Mount Olympus," I said. "You're telling me there really is a place there?"**

" **Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which indeed use to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect for the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just like the gods do."**

" **You mean the Greek gods are here? Like…in** _ **America**_ **."**

" **Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West."**

" **The what?"**

"I'm confused," Ron said.

"Yes, Ron, we all know that you're confused."

Ron went a bit red.

" **Come, now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all the Western civilizations were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then you know-or as I hope you know, since you passed by course-the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps-Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on-but the same forces, the same gods."**

" **And then they died."**

" **Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to dis look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle for Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it, or not-and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either-America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."**

"That has got to be the best speech that I've ever heard," Kingsley said.

"He's very passionate about this," Hermione said.

 **It was all too much, especially the fact** _ **I**_ **seemed to be included in Chiron's** _ **we**_ **, as if I were part of some club.**

" **Who are you, Chiron? Who…who am I?"**

 **Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight s if he was going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down.**

" **Who are you? he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunch in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate.'**

"Sounds like you and he would get along well," Tonks told Remus, who went pink.

 **And then he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he kept rising out of the hair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg came out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.**

"HE'S A BLOODY CENTUAR!" Everyone, including McGonagall, yelled out at the same time.

"Now I remember," Hermione said, shock in her voice, "Chiron is the trainer of heroes and he's a centaur."

"You muggles know this stuff."

Hermione gave Draco a look and said, "Yes, Draco, we savages have museums filled with things from ancient Greece and we have people that dig up the past to understand it."

 **I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair; a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.**

" **What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks have fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers.**

"Alright, I'm done," McGonagall said, "Who wants to read next?"

"I will," Narcissa said and McGonagall handed her the book "I Become the Supreme Lord of the Bathroom."

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A/N: Finally, after months I got this chapter done. I will be working on two pages from the book per day so that you all don't wait so long for a new chapter. Thanks for staying with me.


	9. I Become the Supreme Lord of the Bathroo

Title: Headmaster Snape and the Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 9: I Become the Supreme Lord of the Bathroom.

 **Once I got over the fact that my Latin teacher was a horse, we had a nice tour, though I was careful not to walk behind him. I'd done pooper-scooper patrol in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade a few times, and, I'm sorry, I did not trust Chiron's back end the way I trusted his front. We passed the volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudged each other. One pointed to the minotaur horn I was carrying.**

"Why does he have to carry that thing around?" Ron asked. "I would have gotten rid of it."

"Ron, that's his choice," Hermione scolded.

"I'm going to agree," Kingsley said.

 **Another said, "That's him." Most of the campers were older than me. Their satyr friends were bigger than Grover, all of them trotting around in orange CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirts, with nothing else to cover their bare shaggy hindquarters. I wasn't normally shy, but the way they stared at me made me uncomfortable. I felt like they were expecting me to do a flip or something.**

 **I looked back at the farmhouse. It was a lot bigger than I'd realized—four stories tall, sky blue with white trim, like an upscale seaside resort. I was checking out the brass eagle weather vane on top when something caught my eye, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable. Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I got the distinct impression I was being watched. "What's up there?" I asked Chiron. He looked where I was pointing, and his smile faded. "Just the attic."**

" **Somebody lives there?"**

" **No," he said with finality. "Not a single living thing."**

"I don't think he's being truthful," Hermione said.

"Maybe he's protecting Percy," Remus suggested.

 **I got the feeling he was being truthful. But I was also sure something had moved that curtain.**

" **Come along, Percy," Chiron said, his lighthearted tone now a little forced. "Lots to see."**

 **We walked through the strawberry fields, where campers were picking bushels of berries while a satyr played a tune on a reed pipe. Chiron told me the camp grew a nice crop for export to New York restaurants and Mount Olympus.**

" **It pays our expenses," he explained. "And the strawberries take almost no effort."**

 **He said Mr. D had this effect on fruit-bearing plants: they just went crazy when he was around. It worked best with wine grapes, but Mr. D was restricted from growing those, so they grew strawberries instead. I watched the satyr playing his pipe. His music was causing lines of bugs to leave the strawberry patch in every direction, like refugees fleeing a fire. I wondered if Grover could work that kind of magic with music. I wondered if he was still inside the farmhouse, getting chewed out by Mr. D.**

" **Grover won't get in too much trouble, will he?" I asked Chiron. "I mean…he was a good protector. Really."**

"I hope not," Hermione said. "It's not his fault that this happened."

"Yeah, it's Percy's fault," Ron stated.

 **Chiron sighed. He shed his tweed jacket and draped it over his horse's back like a saddle.**

" **Grover has big dreams, Percy. Perhaps bigger than are reasonable. To reach his goal, he must first demonstrate great courage by succeeding as a keeper, finding a new camper and bringing him safely to Half-Blood Hill."**

" **But he did that!"**

" **I might agree with you," Chiron said. "But it is not my place to judge. Dionysus and the Council of Cloven Elders must decide. I'm afraid they might not see this assignment as a success. After all, Grover lost you in New York. Then there's the unfortunate…ah…fate of your mother. And the fact that Grover was unconscious when you dragged him over the property line. The council might question whether this shows any courage on Grover's part."**

"That is just so unfair," Hermione protested.

 **I wanted to protest. None of what happened was Grover's fault. I also felt really, really guilty. If I hadn't given Grover the slip at the bus station, he might not have gotten in trouble. "He'll get a second chance, won't he?"**

 **Chiron winced. "I'm afraid that was Grover's second chance, Percy. The council was not anxious to give him another, either, after what happened the first time, five years ago. Olympus knows, I advised him to wait longer before trying again. He's still so small for his age.…"**

" **How old is he?"**

" **Oh, twenty-eight."**

"HE'S HOW OLD?" everyone, minus the Headmaster, exclaimed.

" **What! And he's in sixth grade?"**

" **Satyrs mature half as fast as humans, Percy. Grover has been the equivalent of a middle school student for the past six years."**

" **That's horrible."**

" **Quite," Chiron agreed. "At any rate, Grover is a late bloomer, even by satyr standards, and not yet very accomplished at woodland magic. Alas, he was anxious to pursue his dream. Perhaps now he will find some other career.…"**

" **That's not fair," I said. "What happened the first time? Was it really so bad?"**

 **Chiron looked away quickly.**

" **Let's move along, shall we?"**

 **But I wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop. Something had occurred to me when Chiron talked about my mother's fate, as if he were intentionally avoiding the word death. The beginnings of an idea—a tiny, hopeful fire—started forming in my mind.**

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this," Lucius said.

" **Chiron," I said. "If the gods and Olympus and all that are real…"**

" **Yes, child?" "Does that mean the Underworld is real, too?"**

 **Chiron's expression darkened. "Yes, child." He paused, as if choosing his words carefully. "There is a place where spirits go after death. But for now…until we know more…I would urge you to put that out of your mind." "What do you mean, 'until we know more'?"**

" **Come, Percy. Let's see the woods."**

 **As we got closer, I realized how huge the forest was. It took up at least a quarter of the valley, with trees so tall and thick, you could imagine nobody had been in there since the Native Americans.**

 **Chiron said, "The woods are stocked, if you care to try your luck, but go armed."**

" **Stocked with what?" I asked. "Armed with what?"**

"Why would anyone want to go in there?" Ron asked.

"And this is from someone that has been inside the Forbidden forest more times than Potter and his friends," Snape retorted.

Ron glared at him.

" **You'll see. Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own sword and shield?"**

" **My own—?" "No," Chiron said. "I don't suppose you do. I think a size five will do. I'll visit the armory later."**

"This is one insane place," Harry remarked.

 **I wanted to ask what kind of summer camp had an armory, but there was too much else to think about, so the tour continued. We saw the archery range, the canoeing lake, the stables (which Chiron didn't seem to like very much), the javelin range, the sing-along amphitheater, and the arena where Chiron said they held sword and spear fights.**

"What kind of bloody place is this?" Lucius asked.

"Lucius," Mrs. Malfoy scolded, sounding way too much like Mrs. Weasley.

" **Sword and spear fights?" I asked.**

" **Cabin challenges and all that," he explained. "Not lethal. Usually. Oh, yes, and there's the mess hall."**

"Remind me never to visit, if it's even real," Ron moaned.

 **Chiron pointed to an outdoor pavilion framed in white Grecian columns on a hill overlooking the sea. There were a dozen stone picnic tables. No roof. No walls.**

"That's going to damage the food," Ron moaned.

"Trust Ron to be concerned about food," Snape muttered.

" **What do you do when it rains?" I asked.**

 **Chiron looked at me as if I'd gone a little weird. "We still have to eat, don't we?"**

 **I decided to drop the subject. Finally, he showed me the cabins. There were twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the lake. They were arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on either side. And they were without doubt the most bizarre collection of buildings I'd ever seen.**

 **Except for the fact that each had a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side, evens on the right), they looked absolutely nothing alike. Number nine had smokestacks, like a tiny factory. Number four had tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of real grass. Seven seemed to be made of solid gold, which gleamed so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at. They all faced a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which were more my speed).**

 **In the center of the field was a huge stone-lined firepit. Even though it was a warm afternoon, the hearth smoldered. A girl about nine years old was tending the flames, poking the coals with a stick. The pair of cabins at the head of the field, numbers one and two, looked like his-and-hers mausoleums, big white marble boxes with heavy columns in front. Cabin one was the biggest and bulkiest of the twelve. Its polished bronze doors shimmered like a hologram, so that from different angles lightning bolts seemed to streak across them.**

 **Cabin two was more graceful somehow, with slimmer columns garlanded with pomegranates and flowers. The walls were carved with images of peacocks. "Zeus and Hera?" I guessed.**

" **Correct," Chiron said.**

" **Their cabins look empty."**

" **Several of the cabins are. That's true. No one ever stays in one or two."**

 **Okay. So each cabin had a different god, like a mascot.**

"So each cabin is connected to a different Greek god," Narcissa suggested. "Oh I wish the place was real."

 **Twelve cabins for the twelve Olympians. But why would some be empty? I stopped in front of the first cabin on the left, cabin three. It wasn't high and mighty like cabin one, but long and low and solid. The outer walls were of rough gray stone studded with pieces of seashell and coral, as if the slabs had been hewn straight from the bottom of the ocean floor.**

 **I peeked inside the open doorway and Chiron said, "Oh, I wouldn't do that!"**

 **Before he could pull me back, I caught the salty scent of the interior, like the wind on the shore at Montauk. The interior walls glowed like abalone. There were six empty bunk beds with silk sheets turned down. But there was no sign anyone had ever slept there. The place felt so sad and lonely, I was glad when Chiron put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Come along, Percy."**

 **Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers. Number five was bright red—a real nasty paint job, as if the color had been splashed on with buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire. A stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway, and its eyes seemed to follow me.**

 **Inside I could see a bunch of mean-looking kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALFBLOOD T-shirt under a camouflage jacket.**

"Merlin, she sounds like Crabbe and Goyle's sister," Malfoy said. "If they had one."

"I'm going to agree," Lucius said.

 **She zeroed in on me and gave me an evil sneer. She reminded me of Nancy Bobofit, though the camper girl was much bigger and tougher looking, and her hair was long and stringy, and brown instead of red. I kept walking, trying to stay clear of Chiron's hooves. "We haven't seen any other centaurs," I observed.**

" **No," said Chiron sadly. "My kinsmen are a wild and barbaric folk, I'm afraid. You might encounter them in the wilderness, or at major sporting events.**

"Firenze isn't barbaric," Harry stated.

 **But you won't see any here."**

" **You said your name was Chiron. Are you really…"**

 **He smiled down at me. "The Chiron from the stories? Trainer of Hercules and all that? Yes, Percy, I am."**

" **But, shouldn't you be dead?" Chiron paused, as if the question intrigued him. "I honestly don't know about should be. The truth is, I can't be dead. You see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. I could continue the work I loved. I could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. I gained much from that wish…and I gave up much. But I'm still here, so I can only assume I'm still needed."**

 **I thought about being a teacher for three thousand years. It wouldn't have made my Top Ten Things to Wish For list. "Doesn't it ever get boring?"**

" **No, no," he said. "Horribly depressing, at times, but never boring."**

" **Why depressing?" Chiron seemed to turn hard of hearing again.**

"I wouldn't answer that question," Kingsley remarked.

" **Oh, look," he said. "Annabeth is waiting for us."**

 **The blond girl I'd met at the Big House was reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left, number eleven. When we reached her, she looked me over critically, like she was still thinking about how much I drooled. I tried to see what she was reading, but I couldn't make out the title. I thought my dyslexia was acting up. Then I realized the title wasn't even English. The letters looked Greek to me. I mean, literally Greek. There were pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns, like those in an architecture book.**

" **Annabeth," Chiron said, "I have masters' archery class at noon. Would you take Percy from here?"**

" **Yes, sir."**

" **Cabin eleven," Chiron told me, gesturing toward the doorway. "Make yourself at home."**

 **Out of all the cabins, eleven looked the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the emphasis on old. The threshold was worn down, the brown paint peeling. Over the doorway was one of those doctor's symbols, a winged pole with two snakes wrapped around it. What did they call it…? A caduceus. Inside, it was packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk beds.**

 **Sleeping bags were spread all over on the floor. It looked like a gym where the Red Cross had set up an evacuation center. Chiron didn't go in. The door was too low for him. But when the campers saw him they all stood and bowed respectfully.**

" **Well, then," Chiron said. "Good luck, Percy. I'll see you at dinner."**

 **He galloped away toward the archery range. I stood in the doorway, looking at the kids. They weren't bowing anymore. They were staring at me, sizing me up. I knew this routine.**

 **I'd gone through it at enough schools.**

" **Well?" Annabeth prompted. "Go on."**

"She's so pushy and bossy," Hermione retorted, earning a look from everyone in the room. Even the Headmaster. "What?"

"Never mind," Malfoy said.

 **So naturally I tripped coming in the door and made a total fool of myself. There were some snickers from the campers, but none of them said anything.**

 **Annabeth announced, "Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven."**

" **Regular or undetermined?" somebody asked.**

 **I didn't know what to say, but Annabeth said, "Undetermined."**

"What's the big deal about that question?" Remus asked.

"I think it means something," Mr. Weasley said.

 **Everybody groaned.**

 **A guy who was a little older than the rest came forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there."**

 **The guy was about nineteen, and he looked pretty cool. He was tall and muscular, with short-cropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wore an orange tank top, cutoffs, sandals, and a leather necklace with five different-colored clay beads. The only thing unsettling about his appearance was a thick white scar that ran from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old knife slash.**

" **This is Luke," Annabeth said, and her voice sounded different somehow. I glanced over and could've sworn she was blushing.**

"Someone has a crush," Fleur teased.

 **She saw me looking, and her expression hardened again. "He's your counselor for now."**

" **For now?" I asked.**

" **You're undetermined," Luke explained patiently. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travelers."**

 **I looked at the tiny section of floor they'd given me. I had nothing to put there to mark it as my own, no luggage, no clothes, no sleeping bag. Just the Minotaur's horn. I thought about setting that down, but then I remembered that Hermes was also the god of thieves. I looked around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly, some eyeing me as if they were waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.**

"Sounds like the Weasley twins," Draco remarked.

"True, because he's also the god of pranksters," Narcissa said.

" **How long will I be here?" I asked.**

" **Good question," Luke said. "Until you're determined."**

" **How long will that take?"**

 **The campers all laughed.**

" **Come on," Annabeth told me. "I'll show you the volleyball court."**

" **I've already seen it."**

" **Come on." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside.**

"She sounds way too much like Granger," Malfoy said.

Hermione glared at him.

 **I could hear the kids of cabin eleven laughing behind me. When we were a few feet away, Annabeth said, "Jackson, you have to do better than that."**

" **What?"**

 **She rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you were the one."**

" **What's your problem?" I was getting angry now.**

" **All I know is, I kill some bull guy—"**

" **Don't talk like that!" Annabeth told me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd had your chance?"**

"No, she's way too weird to be like Granger."

" **To get killed?"**

" **To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?"**

"Who wants to remind Percy of what killed his mum?" Tonks asked.

 **I shook my head. "Look, if the thing I fought really was the Minotaur, the same one in the stories…"**

" **Yes."**

" **Then there's only one."**

" **Yes." "And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth. So…"**

" **Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."**

"Confused," Remus remarked. "If you kill something, it's dead."

" **Oh, thanks. That clears it up."**

" **They don't have souls, like you and me. You can dispel them for a while, maybe even for a whole lifetime if you're lucky. But they are primal forces. Chiron calls them archetypes. Eventually, they re-form."**

 **I thought about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword—"**

" **The Fur…I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her very, very mad."**

"I hope she doesn't come around," Tonks said.

" **How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"**

" **You talk in your sleep."**

" **You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"**

 **Annabeth glanced nervously at the ground, as if she expected it to open up and swallow her.**

" **You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones, if we have to speak of them at all."**

" **Look, is there anything we can say without it thundering?" I sounded whiny, even to myself, but right then I didn't care. "Why do I have to stay in cabin eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."**

 **I pointed to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turned pale. "You don't just choose a cabin, Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or…your parent." She stared at me, waiting for me to get it.**

" **My mom is Sally Jackson," I said. "She works at the candy store in Grand Central Station. At least, she used to."**

" **I'm sorry about your mom, Percy. But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about your other parent. Your dad." "He's dead. I never knew him." Annabeth sighed. Clearly, she'd had this conversation before with other kids. "Your father's not dead, Percy."**

" **How can you say that? You know him?"**

" **No, of course not."**

" **Then how can you say—"**

" **Because I know you. You wouldn't be here if you weren't one of us."**

" **You don't know anything about me."**

" **No?" She raised an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. I bet you were kicked out of a lot of them."**

" **How—" "Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."**

 **I tried to swallow my embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything?"**

" **Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read, right? That's because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD—you're impulsive, can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course the teachers want you medicated. Most of them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are."**

"Sounds like Umbridge," Harry remarked.

"Or Snape," Ron added.

"I'M NOT A DAMN MONSTER," Snape roared.

" **You sound like…you went through the same thing?"**

" **Most of the kids here did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur, much less the ambrosia and nectar."**

"The what?" Ron and Harry asked at the same time.

" **Ambrosia and nectar."**

" **The food and drink we were giving you to make you better. That stuff would've killed a normal kid. It would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand and you'd be dead. Face it. You're a half-blood."**

 **A half-blood. I was reeling with so many questions I didn't know where to start. Then a husky voice yelled, "Well! A newbie!"**

"Why I do have a bad feeling about this?" Ginny stated.

 **I looked over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin was sauntering toward us. She had three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.**

"What's camo?" Ron asked.

"It's what's members of the muggle military wears," Hermione explained.

" **Clarisse," Annabeth sighed. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"**

" **Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl said. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."**

" **Erre es korakas!" Annabeth said, which I somehow understood was Greek for 'Go to the crows!'**

 **Though I had a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounded.**

" **You don't stand a chance."**

" **We'll pulverize you," Clarisse said, but her eye twitched. Perhaps she wasn't sure she could follow through on the threat. She turned toward me. "Who's this little runt?"**

" **Percy Jackson," Annabeth said, "meet Clarisse, Daughter of Ares."**

 **I blinked. "Like…the war god?"**

 **Clarisse sneered. "You got a problem with that?"**

" **No," I said, recovering my wits. "It explains the bad smell."**

"Why did he have to run his mouth?" Remus asked the others.

 **Clarisse growled. "We got an initiation ceremony for newbies, Prissy."**

" **Percy."**

" **Whatever. Come on, I'll show you."**

"Oh this isn't good," Luna said.

" **Clarisse—" Annabeth tried to say.**

" **Stay out of it, wise girl."**

 **Annabeth looked pained, but she did stay out of it, and I didn't really want her help. I was the new kid. I had to earn my own rep.**

"Is he crazy?" Neville asked.

 **I handed Annabeth my minotaur horn and got ready to fight, but before I knew it, Clarisse had me by the neck and was dragging me toward a cinder-block building that I knew immediately was the bathroom.**

"Oh I'm going to hide," Luna said.

 **I was kicking and punching. I'd been in plenty of fights before, but this big girl Clarisse had hands like iron. She dragged me into the girls' bathroom. There was a line of toilets on one side and a line of shower stalls down the other. It smelled just like any public bathroom, and I was thinking—as much as I could think with Clarisse ripping my hair out—that if this place belonged to the gods, they should've been able to afford classier johns.**

"Oh this is not going to be good," Hermione moaned.

 **Clarisse's friends were all laughing, and I was trying to find the strength I'd used to fight the Minotaur, but it just wasn't there.**

" **Like he's 'Big Three' material," Clarisse said as she pushed me toward one of the toilets. "Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing; he was so stupid looking."**

 **Her friends snickered. Annabeth stood in the corner, watching through her fingers. Clarisse bent me over on my knees and started pushing my head toward the toilet bowl. It reeked like rusted pipes and, well, like what goes into toilets. I strained to keep my head up.**

"He's dead," Luna said.

 **I was looking at the scummy water, thinking, I will not go into that. I won't. Then something happened. I felt a tug in the pit of my stomach. I heard the plumbing rumble, the pipes shudder.**

 **Clarisse's grip on my hair loosened. Water shot out of the toilet, making an arc straight over my head, and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the bathroom tiles with Clarisse screaming behind me. I turned just as water blasted out of the toilet again, hitting Clarisse straight in the face so hard it pushed her down onto her butt. The water stayed on her like the spray from a fire hose, pushing her backward into a shower stall. She struggled, gasping, and her friends started coming toward her.**

"Did he do magic?" Harry asked.

 **But then the other toilets exploded, too, and six more streams of toilet water blasted them back. The showers acted up, too, and together all the fixtures sprayed the camouflage girls right out of the bathroom, spinning them around like pieces of garbage being washed away. As soon as they were out the door, I felt the tug in my gut lessen, and the water shut off as quickly as it had started. The entire bathroom was flooded. Annabeth hadn't been spared.**

 **She was dripping wet, but she hadn't been pushed out the door. She was standing in exactly the same place, staring at me in shock. I looked down and realized I was sitting in the only dry spot in the whole room. There was a circle of dry floor around me. I didn't have one drop of water on my clothes.**

"It has to be magic," Ginny said.

 **Nothing. I stood up, my legs shaky.**

 **Annabeth said, "How did you…"**

" **I don't know."**

 **We walked to the door. Outside, Clarisse and her friends were sprawled in the mud, and a bunch of other campers had gathered around to gawk. Clarisse's hair was flattened across her face. Her camouflage jacket was sopping and she smelled like sewage.**

 **She gave me a look of absolute hatred. "You are dead, new boy. You are totally dead."**

 **I probably should have let it go, but I said, "You want to gargle with toilet water again, Clarisse? Close your mouth."**

"I would have never said anything."

 **Her friends had to hold her back. They dragged her toward cabin five, while the other campers made way to avoid her flailing feet. Annabeth stared at me. I couldn't tell whether she was just grossed out or angry at me for dousing her.**

" **What?" I demanded. "What are you thinking?"**

" **I'm thinking," she said, "that I want you on my team for capture the flag."**

Narcissa closed the book and said, "That's the end of the chapter."

"I think we need to take a break," Remus said.

"Yeah, I'm tired."

And they left the room.

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A/N: Sorry about the long wait. I hope that you enjoy the chapter.


	10. Conversations: Part 3

Title: Headmaster Snape and the Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 10: Conversations: Part 3

Once again Snape was gone.

"I'm really starting to not like this castle," Hermione told Harry and Ron. "I mean; this room won't allow us to leave."

"I'm going to agree," Harry said.

"It's making us read," Ron moaned and his friends shook their heads.

"I do hope that you're not insulting us," a voice said and they turned to find themselves looking at a painting of a woman with a diadem on her head and wearing fancy robes.

"Who are you?" Hermione asked.

"The name is Rowena Ravenclaw, mortal," she snarled. "The founder of Ravenclaw house. And as for you, Mr. Weasley, books are not the enemy and stop insulting them."

To be chewed out by Ravenclaw was nothing like being chewed out by Mrs. Weasley.

"My son means no disrespect," Mrs. Weasley told her.

Ravenclaw snorted.

"Is it true that we can't get out," Remus asked her.

"Correct," she answered. "And only the Headmaster can leave at will. Once the purpose of the room has been fulfilled then you all can leave."

"We could be in here forever," Ron moaned.

"At least we're not being hunted down," Hermione told him. "And the castle is providing you with food."

Ron glared at her. Just then there was a shift in the room and a black vortex appeared and two figures appeared. Harry and the others stared at the form of James and Lily Potter. Ron fainted and the only thing someone said was, "Bloody Hell."

"Well it seems that you have new readers," Ravenclaw said and then silence.

Harry just couldn't believe it, his parents.

"Okay, this is getting strange," Lucius said.

"Where the heck are we at?" James Potter asked.

"In a room, in the castle," Mrs. Weasley said, her voice shaking with shock.

"And why would we be here?" Lily asked.

"Mum! Dad!" Harry said and they both turned to face him.

"Who are you?" James asked.

"It's your son," Mrs. Malfoy told him.

He stared at Harry and then Harry ran over and hugged them.

They had no idea how long everything took but soon the book was handed to Lily, telling them that they all couldn't leave until all five books were read. James sorted at who had placed them here. However, Lily opened the book and read "My Dinner Goes Up in Smoke."

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

A/N: I decided to add Lily and James to the group because they were members of the Order.


	11. My Dinner Goes Up in Smoke

Title: Headmaster Snape and the Percy Jackson Books

Rating: T

Summary: Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, the Malfoy's, and the Order land in a room used by the Founders. They were summoned by Headmaster Snape and told, in order to leave, they must read the five books that detail Percy Jackson's adventures. Why does Snape want them to read these books about some kid? In the end, they will all find out. Crossover of Percy Jackson.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling or Riordan's characters and I'm making nothing from this.

Chapter 11: My Dinner Goes Up in Smoke

"What does that even mean?" Ron asked.

"I think we'll find out," Hermione told him.

 **Word of the bathroom incident spread immediately. Wherever I went, campers pointed at me and murmured something about toilet water. Or maybe they were just staring at Annabeth, who was still pretty much dripping wet. She showed me a few more places: the metal shop (where kids were forging their own swords), the arts-and-crafts room (where satyrs were sandblasting a giant marble statue of a goat-man), and the climbing wall, which actually consisted of two facing walls that shook violently, dropped boulders, sprayed lava, and clashed together if you didn't get to the top fast enough.**

"This is one strange, and demented, place," Remus remarked. "Who forges their own swords?"

"You would be surprised," Lucius said.

 **Finally, we returned to the canoeing lake, where the trail led back to the cabins.**

" **I've got training to do," Annabeth said flatly. "Dinner's at seven-thirty. Just follow your cabin to the mess hall."**

"She's mad," Harry said.

"I would be mad to if water shot at me," Hermione told him.

" **Annabeth, I'm sorry about the toilets."**

" **Whatever."**

" **It wasn't my fault."**

 **She looked at me skeptically, and I realized it was my fault. I'd made water shoot out of the bathroom fixtures. I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.**

"Of course it's his fault," Ginny said. "I would be mad at him too."

" **You need to talk to the Oracle," Annabeth said.**

" **Who?"**

" **Not who. What. The Oracle. I'll ask Chiron."**

"What the heck is an Oracle?" Fred asked.

"It's connected to ancient Greece," Hermione told him.

 **I stared into the lake, wishing somebody would give me a straight answer for once. I wasn't expecting anybody to be looking back at me from the bottom, so my heart skipped a beat when I noticed two teenage girls sitting cross-legged at the base of the pier, about twenty feet below. They wore blue jeans and shimmering green T-shirts, and their brown hair floated loose around their shoulders as minnows darted in and out. They smiled and waved as if I were a long-lost friend. I didn't know what else to do. I waved back.**

"Sounds like something Harry and Ron would do," Ginny said.

" **Don't encourage them," Annabeth warned. "Naiads are terrible flirts."**

" **Naiads," I repeated, feeling completely overwhelmed. "That's it. I want to go home now."**

 **Annabeth frowned. "Don't you get it, Percy? You are home. This is the only safe place on earth for kids like us."**

" **You mean, mentally disturbed kids?"**

" **I mean not human. Not totally human, anyway. Half-human."**

" **Half-human and half-what?"**

" **I think you know." I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid I did. I felt a tingling in my limbs, a sensation I sometimes felt when my mom talked about my dad.**

" **God," I said.**

" **Half-god." Annabeth nodded. "Your father isn't dead, Percy. He's one of the Olympians."**

" **That's…crazy."**

" **Is it? What's the most common thing gods did in the old stories? They ran around falling in love with humans and having kids with them. Do you think they've changed their habits in the last few millennia?"**

"I think she is crazy," Ron said. "I mean; the gods aren't real."

"And some believe that witches and wizards aren't real," Hermione countered.

" **But those are just—" I almost said myths again. Then I remembered Chiron's warning that in two thousand years, I might be considered a myth. "But if all the kids here are half-gods—"**

" **Demigods," Annabeth said. "That's the official term. Or half-bloods."**

"Crazy," Ron stated.

" **Then who's your dad?"**

 **Her hands tightened around the pier railing. I got the feeling I'd just trespassed on a sensitive subject.**

" **My dad is a professor at West Point," she said. "I haven't seen him since I was very small. He teaches American history."**

" **He's human."**

" **What? You assume it has to be a male god who finds a human female attractive? How sexist is that?"**

" **Who's your mom, then?"**

" **Cabin six."**

" **Meaning?"**

 **Annabeth straightened. "Athena. Goddess of wisdom and battle."**

 **Okay, I thought. Why not?**

" **And my dad?"**

"Could someone please explain to me about her mum?" Ron asked. "This book is way too confusing."

"Your life is confusing," Remus said. "Athena, daughter of Zeus. She's the goddess of war, though more of the intellectual side of war."

"Still confused."

"Never mind," Remus said.

" **Undetermined," Annabeth said, "like I told you before. Nobody knows."**

" **Except my mother. She knew."**

" **Maybe not, Percy. Gods don't always reveal their identities."**

" **My dad would have. He loved her."**

 **Annabeth gave me a cautious look. She didn't want to burst my bubble.**

" **Maybe you're right. Maybe he'll send a sign. That's the only way to know for sure: your father has to send you a sign claiming you as his son. Sometimes it happens."**

" **You mean sometimes it doesn't?"**

 **Annabeth ran her palm along the rail. "The gods are busy. They have a lot of kids and they don't always…Well, sometimes they don't care about us, Percy. They ignore us."**

 **I thought about some of the kids I'd seen in the Hermes cabin, teenagers who looked sullen and depressed, as if they were waiting for a call that would never come. I'd known kids like that at Yancy Academy, shuffled off to boarding school by rich parents who didn't have the time to deal with them. But gods should behave better.**

" **I feel bad for him," Harry said and everyone knew what it was like for him, not to be wanted.**

" **So I'm stuck here," I said. "That's it? For the rest of my life?"**

" **It depends," Annabeth said. "Some campers only stay the summer. If you're a child of Aphrodite or Demeter, you're probably not a real powerful force. The monsters might ignore you, so you can get by with a few months of summer training and live in the mortal world the rest of the year. But for some of us, it's too dangerous to leave. We're year-rounders. In the mortal world, we attract monsters. They sense us. They come to challenge us. Most of the time, they'll ignore us until we're old enough to cause trouble—about ten or eleven years old, but after that, most demigods either make their way here, or they get killed off. A few manage to survive in the outside world and become famous. Believe me, if I told you the names, you'd know them. Some don't even realize they're demigods. But very, very few are like that."**

"Makes me wonder who she knows," Kingsley stated.

" **So monsters can't get in here?" Annabeth shook her head. "Not unless they're intentionally stocked in the woods or specially summoned by somebody on the inside."**

" **Why would anybody want to summon a monster?"**

" **Practice fights. Practical jokes."**

"Who would want to do that as a joke?"

"Let me take one good guess," Harry said.

" **The point is, the borders are sealed to keep mortals and monsters out. From the outside, mortals look into the valley and see nothing unusual, just a strawberry farm."**

" **So…you're a year-rounder?"**

 **Annabeth nodded. From under the collar of her T-shirt she pulled a leather necklace with five clay beads of different colors. It was just like Luke's, except Annabeth's also had a big gold ring strung on it, like a college ring. "I've been here since I was seven," she said.**

"I wonder why she doesn't want to be with her dad?"

" **Every August, on the last day of summer session, you get a bead for surviving another year. I've been here longer than most of the counselors, and they're all in college." "Why did you come so young?" She twisted the ring on her necklace. "None of your business." "Oh." I stood there for a minute in uncomfortable silence. "So…I could just walk out of here right now if I wanted to?" "It would be suicide, but you could, with Mr. D's or Chiron's permission. But they wouldn't give permission until the end of the summer session unless…"**

" **Unless?"**

" **You were granted a quest. But that hardly ever happens. The last time…"**

 **Her voice trailed off. I could tell from her tone that the last time hadn't gone well.**

" **Back in the sick room," I said, "when you were feeding me that stuff—" "Ambrosia."**

" **Yeah. You asked me something about the summer solstice." Annabeth's shoulders tensed. "So you do know something?"**

" **Well…no. Back at my old school, I overheard Grover and Chiron talking about it. Grover mentioned the summer solstice. He said something like we didn't have much time, because of the deadline. What did that mean?"**

 **She clenched her fists. "I wish I knew. Chiron and the satyrs, they know, but they won't tell me. Something is wrong in Olympus, something pretty major. Last time I was there, everything seemed so normal."**

" **You've been to Olympus?"**

" **Some of us year-rounders—Luke and Clarisse and I and a few others—we took a field trip during winter solstice. That's when the gods have their big annual council."**

" **But…how did you get there?"**

" **The Long Island Railroad, of course. You get off at Penn Station. Empire State Building, special elevator to the six hundredth floor."**

"The what floor?" Tonks asked.

"Six hundredth," Hermione answered.

"That's not a real floor," she told Hermione. "Trust me, I know."

 **She looked at me like she was sure I must know this already.**

" **You are a New Yorker, right?"**

" **Oh, sure."**

 **As far as I knew, there were only a hundred and two floors in the Empire State Building, but I decided not to point that out. "Right after we visited," Annabeth continued, "the weather got weird, as if the gods had started fighting. A couple of times since, I've overheard satyrs talking. The best I can figure out is that something important was stolen. And if it isn't returned by summer solstice, there's going to be trouble. When you came, I was hoping…I mean—Athena can get along with just about anybody, except for Ares. And of course she's got the rivalry with Poseidon. But, I mean, aside from that, I thought we could work together. I thought you might know something."**

 **I shook my head. I wished I could help her, but I felt too hungry and tired and mentally overloaded to ask any more questions.**

" **I've got to get a quest," Annabeth muttered to herself. "I'm not too young. If they would just tell me the** **problem…"**

"She seems eager to die," Narcissa said.

 **I could smell barbecue smoke coming from somewhere nearby. Annabeth must've heard my stomach growl. She told me to go on, she'd catch me later. I left her on the pier, tracing her finger across the rail as if drawing a battle plan. Back at cabin eleven, everybody was talking and horsing around, waiting for dinner. For the first time, I noticed that a lot of the campers had similar features: sharp noses, upturned eyebrows, mischievous smiles. They were the kind of kids that teachers would peg as troublemakers. Thankfully, nobody paid much attention to me as I walked over to my spot on the floor and plopped down with my minotaur horn. The counselor, Luke, came over. He had the Hermes family resemblance, too. It was marred by that scar on his right cheek, but his smile was intact. "Found you a sleeping bag," he said. "And here, I stole you some toiletries from the camp store."**

"That has got to be the strangest thing that I've ever heard written in a book," Ginny said.

 **I couldn't tell if he was kidding about the stealing part. I said, "Thanks."**

" **No prob." Luke sat next to me, pushed his back against the wall. "Tough first day?"**

" **I don't belong here," I said. "I don't even believe in gods."**

" **Yeah," he said. "That's how we all started. Once you start believing in them? It doesn't get any easier."**

 **The bitterness in his voice surprised me, because Luke seemed like a pretty easygoing guy. He looked like he could handle just about anything.**

" **So your dad is Hermes?" I asked. He pulled a switchblade out of his back pocket, and for a second I thought he was going to gut me, but he just scraped the mud off the sole of his sandal.**

" **Yeah. Hermes."**

" **The wing-footed messenger guy."**

" **That's him. Messengers. Medicine. Travelers, merchants, thieves. Anybody who uses the roads. That's why you're here, enjoying cabin eleven's hospitality. Hermes isn't picky about who he sponsors."**

 **I figured Luke didn't mean to call me a nobody. He just had a lot on his mind.**

" **You ever meet your dad?" I asked.**

" **Once."**

 **I waited, thinking that if he wanted to tell me, he'd tell me. Apparently, he didn't. I wondered if the story had anything to do with how he got his scar. Luke looked up and managed a smile. "Don't worry about it, Percy. The campers here, they're mostly good people. After all, we're extended family, right? We take care of each other."**

 **He seemed to understand how lost I felt, and I was grateful for that, because an older guy like him—even if he was a counselor—should've steered clear of an uncool middle-schooler like me. But Luke had welcomed me into the cabin. He'd even stolen me some toiletries, which was the nicest thing anybody had done for me all day. I decided to ask him my last big question, the one that had been bothering me all afternoon. "Clarisse, from Ares, was joking about me being 'Big Three' material. Then Annabeth…twice, she said I might be 'the one.' She said I should talk to the Oracle. What was that all about?"**

 **Luke folded his knife. "I hate prophecies."**

"I totally agree with that," Harry muttered.

" **What do you mean?" His face twitched around the scar. "Let's just say I messed things up for everybody else. The last two years, ever since my trip to the Garden of the Hesperides went sour, Chiron hasn't allowed any more quests. Annabeth's been dying to get out into the world. She pestered Chiron so much he finally told her he already knew her fate. He'd had a prophecy from the Oracle. He wouldn't tell her the whole thing, but he said Annabeth wasn't destined to go on a quest yet. She had to wait until…somebody special came to the camp."**

 **Campers came from the other cabins, too, except for the three empty cabins at the end, and cabin eight, which had looked normal in the daytime, but was now starting to glow silver as the sun went down. We marched up the hill to the mess hall pavilion. Satyrs joined us from the meadow. Naiads emerged from the canoeing lake. A few other girls came out of the woods—and when I say out of the woods, I mean straight out of the woods. I saw one girl, about nine or ten years old, melt from the side of a maple tree and come skipping up the hill.**

 **In all, there were maybe a hundred campers, a few dozen satyrs, and a dozen assorted wood nymphs and naiads. At the pavilion, torches blazed around the marble columns. A central fire burned in a bronze brazier the size of a bathtub. Each cabin had its own table, covered in white cloth trimmed in purple. Four of the tables were empty, but cabin eleven's was way overcrowded. I had to squeeze on to the edge of a bench with half my butt hanging off. I saw Grover sitting at table twelve with Mr. D, a few satyrs, and a couple of plump blond boys who looked just like Mr. D. Chiron stood to one side, the picnic table being way too small for a centaur. Annabeth sat at table six with a bunch of serious-looking athletic kids, all with her gray eyes and honey-blond hair. Clarisse sat behind me at Ares's table. She'd apparently gotten over being hosed down, because she was laughing and belching right alongside her friends. Finally, Chiron pounded his hoof against the marble floor of the pavilion, and everybody fell silent. He raised a glass. "To the gods!"**

"They're all crazy," McGonagall said.

 **Everybody else raised their glasses. "To the gods!" Wood nymphs came forward with platters of food: grapes, apples, strawberries, cheese, fresh bread, and yes, barbecue! My glass was empty, but Luke said, "Speak to it. Whatever you want—nonalcoholic, of course."**

 **I said, "Cherry Coke." The glass filled with sparkling caramel liquid. Then I had an idea. "Blue Cherry Coke."**

 **The soda turned a violent shade of cobalt. I took a cautious sip. Perfect.**

"What's up with blue stuff?"

"Ron, I think this author has explained this already," Hermione stated, glaring at him.

 **I drank a toast to my mother. She's not gone, I told myself. Not permanently, anyway. She's in the Underworld. And if that's a real place, then someday…**

" **Here you go, Percy," Luke said, handing me a platter of smoked brisket. I loaded my plate and was about to take a big bite when I noticed everybody getting up, carrying their plates toward the fire in the center of the pavilion. I wondered if they were going for dessert or something. "Come on," Luke told me.**

"What are they going to do?" Ron asked.

"I think we're going to find out," Harry said.

 **As I got closer, I saw that everyone was taking a portion of their meal and dropping it into the fire, the ripest strawberry, the juiciest slice of beef, the warmest, most buttery roll.**

"THEIR BURNING FOOD," Ron bellowed.

"Merlin, my ears," Tonks said.

"Can you stop acting like this is the end of the world," Lily asked him.

"But, it's food."

Everyone groaned.

 **Luke murmured in my ear, "Burnt offerings for the gods. They like the smell."**

" **You're kidding."**

 **His look warned me not to take this lightly, but I couldn't help wondering why an immortal, all-powerful being would like the smell of burning food. Luke approached the fire, bowed his head, and tossed in a cluster of fat red grapes. "Hermes."**

 **I was next. I wished I knew what god's name to say. Finally, I made a silent plea. Whoever you are, tell me. Please. I scraped a big slice of brisket into the flames. When I caught a whiff of the smoke, I didn't gag. It smelled nothing like burning food. It smelled of hot chocolate and fresh-baked brownies, hamburgers on the grill and wildflowers, and a hundred other good things that shouldn't have gone well together, but did. I could almost believe the gods could live off that smoke. When everybody had returned to their seats and finished eating their meals, Chiron pounded his hoof again for our attention. Mr. D got up with a huge sigh.**

" **Yes, I suppose I'd better say hello to all you brats. Well, hello. Our activities director, Chiron, says the next capture the flag is Friday. Cabin five presently holds the laurels."**

 **A bunch of ugly cheering rose from the Ares table.**

" **Personally," Mr. D continued, "I couldn't care less, but congratulations. Also, I should tell you that we have a new camper today. Peter Johnson." Chiron murmured something. "Er, Percy Jackson," Mr. D corrected.**

" **That's right. Hurrah, and all that. Now run along to your silly campfire. Go on."**

 **Everybody cheered. We all headed down toward the amphitheater, where Apollo's cabin led a sing-along. We sang camp songs about the gods and ate s'mores and joked around, and the funny thing was, I didn't feel that anyone was staring at me anymore. I felt that I was home.**

"Bunch of damn loonies," Ron said.

 **Later in the evening, when the sparks from the campfire were curling into a starry sky, the conch horn blew again, and we all filed back to our cabins. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I collapsed on my borrowed sleeping bag. My fingers curled around the Minotaur's horn. I thought about my mom, but I had good thoughts: her smile, the bedtime stories she would read me when I was a kid, the way she would tell me not to let the bedbugs bite. When I closed my eyes, I fell asleep instantly. That was my first day at Camp Half-Blood.**

 **I wish I'd known how briefly I would get to enjoy my new home.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Lily said. "Who's next?"

"I'll read," Lucius said and she handed the book over. "We Capture a Flag."


End file.
